A
male
age
36-40,
*_steines
writes: I really need some advice for a woman I'm interested in, because she's been very ambiguous (hot and cold) towards me.She is a former co-worker and a friend, and over the past week, we were hanging out quite a bit. Initially, she showed all the classic signs of being into me: laughing at everything that I said (even if it wasn't funny), playfully hitting me, texting me quite frequently, interrogating me about past relationships. We've even slept together - and, by 'slept together', I mean in the normal sense; there was nothing sexual going on, other than some cuddling. Some of the comments she's made have made me think that she's really into me, too. I was talking recently about how I love cooking, and that I wished I had my own kitchen to cook in, and she said, "It would be fun to cook with you". My golden birthday is coming up in later October, and she said she was going to "surprise me with something special."Recently, too, she's taken to giving me hugs goodbye, and the hug lasts longer, and is closer, than just a "friend" hug ... I think.But, especially lately, she's suddenly been kind of indifferent. I told her recently that I had feelings for her, but her response was just "Oh...", and nothing really other than that. She also asked me about another guy, because he asked her out, and she was "thinking about it".The last time we hung out was a few days ago, during which she told me she was kind of "scared of settling down and being committed". And now, she hasn't been responding to my calls or texts ... I've tried calling/texting interchangeably, three times now, but she doesn't respond. I don't want to lose her by going too fast or too slow, but now I'm really kind of confused by her reactions. Is she interested in me? Is she not interested in me? Is she just trying to go slow? Is she testing me to see if I'm desperate? Is she suddenly afraid of me or afraid of being "committed"? I'm killing myself trying to figure her out ... help!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): I think you've been analysing her for so long that she is moving on. She was probably waiting for you to take the lead.
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