A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi.. I am married and completely in love. He's in the military so he's been away for 3/4 of the time i've known him. We decided to be officially together about two weeks before he left for the first time. I'd only known him 2 weeks before that and didn't know too much about him or his veiws on relationships. The guy i used to be with was very open and didn't much care what I did. I didn't cheat on him, but for instance.. I had a really good guy friend.. we were bet friends for years and he would rub my back or stomach just like my girl friends would. And my boyfriend at the time didn't care. So with the new guy after he left, my friend was doing that again at the pool. My eyes were closed and I was falling asleep because that always puts me to sleep. But then he went up up up and went under my bathing suit and touched my nipple and i woke up and took a deep breath and a few seconds later i stopped him and jumped up.. but i waited a few seconds.. i shouldnt have.. i shouldve stopped him immediately.. but I didnt.. we got into a big fight later that night away from ouor friends and I never saw him after that.. i think once when he was at my friends apartment and i went over there not kowing he was there.. but i never called him to hang out.. and i didn't answer his calls.. and later i told him i didn't ever want to see him or talk to him again. It was because I was with the military guy and he knew that and he still moved up.. and also because i shouldnt have let him i just felt so bad and mad at myself i couldnt bare to look at him again.. and i've always wondered if i should tell my husband.. that happened shortly after we started being together and after i knew him better, i realized he would never ever want anyone rubbing my back or feet or anything or touching me or hugging me.. and i'm fine with that. And since that time i haven't even hung out with a guy friend.. hes been suicidal before i knew him and made several attempts and so when he says he will do it again if i ever cheat on him, i know he means it. And it's not just for attention because it took him until after we were married to even tell me about the attempts. And I don't know what will happen if I tell him.. if he'll leave me or kill himself.. hes away now so it would be easy.. all he would have to do is not put up his weapon to the guy attacking him and it wouldn't even look like a suicide. But I feel so bad.. I didn't touch the guy myself but I didn't stop him as soon as i should have. I guess it just... felt good.. god that horrible.. i'm so horrible.. i think it was like.. 3or 4 seconds it went on before i jumped up.. What was I thinking? That was in the very beginning of our relationship.. the very beginning.. and i can't believe i let it happen.. I ruined everything before it even got started good.. I wrote him a letter telling him that i was going to send to him but I ended up tearing it up because i was scared to tell him.. I didn't know what he would do. He had never had a girlfriend and was depressed and i was his first and he thought he would be alone forever. He said I was like.. his gaurdian angel. i kept him alive by loving him and wanting him when he thought no one ever would.. and I didn't want to ruin that by telling him. What would you all do? And what do you think I should do? I don't know what to do..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): Well thank you. You're really nice. I hope that i can do that one day but this has helped me get there. I still feel guilty, but i think you're right that it would just cause unecessary drama and maybe he would get the wrong idea or think I wanted it or liked it..
Thank you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): Hi i wrote this this is a followup:
But.. I didn't mean to write "woke up" as if i was dead asleep.. I was just like.. out of it like falling asleep you know? I wasn't asleep asleep and dreaming and everything.. Does that make it more horrible?
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