A
female
age
51-59,
*aziz
writes:I met a man last year and we spent a lot of time together. I fell in love with him but he suddenly changed and wouldn't speak to me.I was also very hurt because he met someone soon after me and married her after just 5 months. She is 14 years younger than him - she is 29 and he is 43. It is now almost a year and I still think of him a lot. Does this mean that I love him still? Do you think their marriage will last? Also heard that she is pregnant and will be having a baby. Life can be so unfair. I have tried to talk to him and he doesn't speak to me.
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female
reader, saziz +, writes (27 August 2007):
saziz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi..I still get upset sometimes when I think about it all or when I see one of his mates in town. Also, I drove past him twice and before he used to ignore me and not even look my way; but lately I saw that he was really looking at me as if to read my face(I was wearing sunglasses ... just moved my eyes so he doesn't know that I saw him looking).Does this mean something? Is he feeling guilty or what? I feel as if I may never meet again and that he really was my 'soul mate'. I am so grateful for all the advise and counselling I have been getting. Thank you so much mates...you don't know how much this means to me.
A
female
reader, saziz +, writes (24 August 2007):
saziz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your answer...all of you are basically saying the same thing...great minds..huh! Just love it...love you all....
ps. can I change the log name from 'saziz' to 'Surfer'..
Love you all
suz
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2007): Dear lady,
we think that you have to forget about him since he is married and they are expecting a baby. We are afraid there is nothing else you can do. You should pretend that you have never met him before.
If we were you we would look for an interesting man who can make you happier.
As they say, "There is plenty of fish in the sea".
Lots of love,
Plus 2 students
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2007): Sorry, change the following statement from:
"...you are dependent on others to give you a life. "
to
"...you are NOT dependent on others to give you a life. "
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A
female
reader, darksecretangel  +, writes (23 August 2007):
 Hey
eyeswideopen is right you have to stay away from this man and dont contact him.You fell in love with him, but he didnt love you. There is no point wasting your happiness on some man who doesnt love you, and soon after you two broke up married some one else.You have to be strong and move on because dwelling on this is just going to make you more upset and wonder why he changed. Maybe you do love him but maybe you are just wondering why he changed and thats why you keep thinking about him. My adivce is go out with your friends and do something to distract you, sooner or later you will realise that you dont love this man and you will maybe find a man who loves you like you will love them.
good luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2007): Yes, life can be unfair and you have been rejected and it hurts...I know. I am sorry. We all have been there and it's not easy. Here you are, a year later and you sound like you are still emotionally struggling with the hurt. And you know, you have to let this go, don't you. But you ask, does this mean you still love him? Possibly but there might be something else going on. It might help to understand what could be at the core of your feelings. Now I could be wrong, so feel free to say so. But I have to ask...has this happened to you before? Are you the 'giving' type of person who tends to lose herself, in all your intimate relationships? So many people do that. Sometimes, people get overly emotionally emeshed with another's life and you are they struggle to separate themselves from that, long after a split up. Usually, it's people with codependency traits that do this. They give too much, love too much, and they wanted and needed a lot from another person, they had and still love. And it's hard for them to cope, when the other person doesn’t appreciate or love them in the way they needed it. They lose their own spirit, their own identity and remain very emotionally dependant and territorial on the other person, even long after the break up occurs. This man has moved ahead, he's married with a child on the way. He is where he wants to be. My suggestion is and this will be tough. Don't communicate with him ever again. This is inappropriate behavior and you are displaying little respect for his boundaries. You have to move on. Now you have to find a place in your world where you need to be. And it isn't with him, dear. That is the past, it's over. You need to start thinking that all of you, every aspect of you, is important. You count for something. You matter. You do value your wants and needs.You need to work hard on yourself and learn to forget and heal. Because when you do this, you open the door for other love opportunities to walk in. You are being responsible for your own life...you are dependent on others to give you a life. Get out there and make your life better..happier. You are the only one who can do that. You are worthy of love with another person and it will happen. But you need to let yourself grieve and heal from this past love. You will know when it is time to move on. But 'accept' that what you had with him is over. And please remember, that no one can go back and make a brand new start, we can all start from today and make a brand new ending. So now, it's time to end this and treasure yourself, by focusing on looking after you. Be strong and it will happen. Good luck .
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (23 August 2007):
 You need to try and get on with your life. Do not try to get in touch with him. It's over. Stay busy, go out with friends, in time you will find you think of him less and less and you may also find a new love. Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, secret +, writes (23 August 2007):
 well my dear you just have to move on. you're simply missing him and that is why you think of him . try to occupy your mind and dont wait for their marriage to fall apart to pick up the pieces. get on with your life and show him what he is missing by being happy and sucessful
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