A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I dont a very stupid thingMy boyfriend and i broke up two weeks ago and i am absolutely heartbrokenWer were trying for a baby before we splitLike a right idiot iv went and told him im pregnant and im getting an abortion even though i dont think i am pregnantMy period is 13days late but my pregnancy test was neg:What the hell am i suppose to do now??????...I cant tell him the truth i cant its went far past that stage now and it would tare him appart knowing iv lied to himIm verry annoyed with myself for this coz iv never ever lied to him beforeAny help would be highly appretiated Thanks guys
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abortion, broke up, heartbroken, period, pregnancy test, trying for a baby Reply to this Question
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female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (19 June 2011):
 Red Athena, I think we're getting our wires crossed due to the countries we live in!
I also work in the medical field and if you go into a GP's sugery and a test is negative, they will not doing anything else, and certianly wont do a pelvic exam! In the UK, we dont have a gynecologist we go see regulary like in the states. When you're over 25 you get a smear test done every other year with a nurse but that's it.
If you do several tests at home and its a negative, and then go see a doctor and it's negative..the likelihood is that it is negative! The doctor will then say; "Come back in a couple weeks and we will test you again if you still have the syptoms" And if she tests negative again..well you get my gist. They dont do pelvic examinations for no reason.
OP - it sounds like you two are better split up. Tell him the truth then move on. I know you may want to seek revenge on him for his lying, but this isnt the way to do it. After you go to the doctors and find out what's happening, tell him that you're either pregnant or that your pregnancy was a faulse positive.
A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (19 June 2011):
 "test's done at a GP's surgery are the same as home pregnancy tests."I work in the medical field. It was quite common for that same test to be a false-negative at home and find out via pelvic exam that INDEED the person was pregnant. Sometimes tests are false-positive or false negative due to "operator error" at home and can be confirmed by a physical pelvic exam.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 June 2011):
 Tell the truth in white lies. Tell him your period was late by a very long time, two full weeks. So you thought you were pregnant. But then later on when you took a test you found out you weren't pregnant, but by then you were scared to tell him since you had already announced that you were pregnant.
Tell him all the emotions from the breakup made you not think rationally, so you thought you were pregnant without taking the tests, and that at the time you believed you were.
Don't tell him you lied. Just tell him that that's what you thought at the time, and ridden by emotions you told him you were pregnant before you went to get the test.
But, before any of this is said.. have you taken only one test? The first test CAN be negative even though you ARE pregnant. I think you should got to your doctor first to make absolutely sure you are not pregnant. Also, did you get your period? That doesn't mean you aren't pregnant, as one can have bleedings through the pregnancy. Get a doctors appointment.
Then, after being at the doctors, if you got a negative result, call your ex boyfriend and tell him that you went to the doctors and that it was a false alarm (if the tests came out negative).
Don't worry, it happens. It will be ok. He'll need some time to get over the shock and anticipation of a child, but he will be alright! He'll get himself through it. Just make sure you really aren't pregnant before you tell him anything more. DON'T fake an abortion. Stop the lies/illusions right here and now and tell him it was a false alarm.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks but i actually already have two kids!!!!People make mistakes and i regret saying what i did but at the end of the day he wont even talk to me and has the attitude that he doesnt care i guess im that ashamed of myself i dont want him knowing iv lied to him especially how i was always honest to him and he lied about everything and thats why we split up!
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (18 June 2011):
 Lying to a man about whether or not he has a child, or whether the child is his, or whether it's been aborted - this is precisely the same as intentionally switching your baby in the hospital. How would you feel if someone did this to you? What kind of person would they be?
Don't be that person.
Look, go to a doctor and see what's up about your cycle, but even if you turn out pregnant, tell the father the truth. Tell him you lied, but that your lie turned out to be real. Haven't you learned by now that deception is not the way to solve your relationship problems? If you can't be honest and stable with this guy, you are not ready to be a parent.
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A
female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (18 June 2011):
RedAthena, the test's done at a GP's surgery are the same as home pregnancy tests.
I can imagine you havent got your period because of the stressful situation you have put yourself in. When we are stressed, our bodies have a build up of cortisol which can prevent normal bodily fuctions like bowel movements, sleep and periods.
You need to tell him the truth. Do you think its fair on him thinking that he's just lost his chance to be a father? You've done the deed, now you need to come clean or you will regret it. When you lie like this is snowballs, you find yourself telling lie upon lie to cover your tracks. Soon enough a lot more people are involved. He could tell anyone.
For future reference, anyone on here would suggest being in a stable relationship and being in the position of being able to care for a child financially, practically and emotionally before actually trying to conceive. This gives me the indication that you arnt ready to be a parent. Especially if the first thing that comes to mind after breaking up is to have an abortion. A baby isnt a play toy to bring you closer as a couple, its a human being you raise in the hope that it will be a better model of yourself.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 June 2011):
I think perhaps that you need to do another test, just to be sure.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): you have to tell him the truth. it's the only way.
your options are to tell the truth and face the consequences, or make up more lies to cover your tracks and the more lies you tell the bigger they become until eventually he finds out the truth on his own when eventually some thing doesn't add up
the more lies you tell, the worse it will be when the truth eventually comes out. you can tell the truth now or you can let the truth come out when you least expect it and are unprepared for it. your choice.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (18 June 2011):
Did you do a home pregnancy test or a test in a Doctors office?
If you have always had a regular period and you are 13 days late...go to a doctor anyway.
Being that late is not normal.
If you want to feel better about lying...tell the truth to him.
Best Wishes.
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