A
male
age
36-40,
*ushy
writes:Okay....so i am 22 year old guy and recently i became very good friends with a girl...The thing is she has been badly hurt by her ex boyfriend 2 years ago and still has not recovered.I used to give her emotional support,she has like cried in front of me million of times and i used to console her.So as we becme close i became more attached and attracted towards her.If she used to feel sad,i used to feel sad.She had made it clear she wouldnt fall in a relationship and marry the guy her parents tell to.But then she used to give me mixed signals and all and 1 day she just randomly told me that she wishes to be married to a guy like me.I told her that i also feel for you truely and lets be together.....She then started blushing,giving cute smiles,staring at me and then the very next day,she told me it wont happen coz i dont wanna hurt my parents by marrying someone of other religion.Then she told me that lets not be in touch else it will be more difficult to part later.I agreed to this and then while parting we both started crying and wished each other good luck and left.In just a week,she contacted me again and said that she's been missing me and she needs me...So i met her,again gave my support then we again started spending a lot of time together.But then gradually i realised that my feelings were continously on the increase.Then i had to tell her for final-that if you wanna be together with me,we can but we cant be friends coz i will really have a difficult time moving on later(which is a fact).So i made her clear if you feel like marrying me,you can come back say in some time and we can be together but we seriously cant remain friends.On this note,we parted forever.I know she is not perfect,i can make a list of her imperfections but then i still really love her and feel very deeply for her.So here are my problems-1)Its been 1 month that all this has happened but i still cant get over her,not the fact that i cant get a girl,but then i think i'll never feel this deep for any girl in my life again ??2)I still care for her like is she happy,does she still feel sad and cry,will she find a good partner and so on...coz i seriously wish and pray that she stays happy in life.While parting also,i told her-be happy coz someone is happy coz you are happy.3)I have had my share of crushes and infatuations,but this as i understand is purely love.4)I dont crave for her coz love is totally about other persons happiness even if he/she is not without you and i have let her go.But then i do miss her,and i think about her most of the times.5)plz dont suggest finding a hobby,focusing on other areas and so on..I m quite successfull in almost all areas like studies,biz,social life etc.etc. My problem is will i ever forget this little girl ?? Will i always care for her ? Are those true feelings i have bound to be with me for a lifetime ?? will i love again ??6)I know real love starts after the relationship starts,but at least in my case i felt really strong and deep for her and yes,im a hopeless romantic(unfortunately)...So should i consider this as my 1st love of my life and i've lost it ?? and that the next one would be just a compromise ?I really dont want to have feelings for anyone except my wife,whoever that be......Thx..looking forward to your reply...
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2011): ...I think that she does care abotu cause if she didn't she wouldn't have contacted you again. But I don't think she really loves you because if she did she wouldn't let religion get into the way of your guys relationship. I think you shoudl try to talk to her about your feelings and try to work it out.good luck :D
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