A
female
age
30-35,
*ucyy13
writes:My problem is, I am seeing a guy, let's call him 'A', and he is moving to France (both he and I live in London at the moment). I met him through a previous boyfriend of mine, 'C', who I dated for several months, and this prevented me and A from getting together for some time - we only finally admitted we liked each other a couple of weeks ago, despite having apparently liked each other for 8 months. When A and I got together we agreed to keep it at "seeing each other" level, not girlfriend and boyfriend, as this would hurt more when he moved away... not because we didn't want that, though. My problem is, having gone into this 'relationship' after liking him for such a long time, I already have strong feelings for him, not helped by the fact that he and I are close friends. I don't want him to leave, but I don't think that I could stop him from going, and I am scared that asking him to stay could ruin whatever time he and I have left together. However, he's coming back in April and hopefully this will be for several months, so there might be a possibility of getting back together with him, possibly 'properly', then.So I have two questions: 1, should I tell him how I feel and ask him to stay? And, 2, assuming he leaves, should I keep in touch with him or leave it until he arrives back in the UK? He has tentative plans to leave in 2 weeks but this keeps changing.Thanks,Lucy x Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): Look its better for you to let him go. I think that if he wanted to be with you he would make the effort to be with you no matter the distance. only time will tell if he wants to be with you or not.
A
male
reader, ricco  +, writes (5 November 2009):
 Do both if he leaves keep in touch so if u still have feeling it won't
Be so aquarted
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A
female
reader, Blackbird86 +, writes (5 November 2009):
Hi Lucy,I think that you should tell him how you feel, but because it is a new relationship, I think you are right in not asking him to stay. The bright side is that the move could be for less than a year. What I would do is make sure he knows how you feel about him. Saying something like, "I really wish you didn't have to go because I will miss you so much", tells him that he is important to you, which he might not be sure about. So let him know that he is and where he stands with you.Secondly, you should definitely keep in touch with him while he is away. Paris is also not too far so he can definitely come to visit you in London and you him in Paris. From what you describe, I don't see why you two can't have a relationship, that is if you feel sincerely for one another. What seems to be missing is communication between you both expressing how you feel and what you would like to have happen between you. Again, you don't have to ask him to say but, more importantly, tell him how much he will be missed and how he makes you feel.Good luck!
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (5 November 2009):
 well. I don't know how things are done in Europe. You tend to be more "traditionally progressive" than us in the USA.
However, what I would do to get things good and what not, would be to have fun with him and don't blow eachother off. See other people since the relationship just started, until he comes back. If you still like eachother and its true feelings. Start where you left off and go from there.
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