A
female
age
30-35,
*hloe-x
writes:So basically about 5 months ago I came out of a 2 and a 1/2 year relationship with someone called Adam, our relationship was one of those where then it is good, it is really good and when it is bad it is really bad. We had, had our ups and downs to say the least, as time went on however we just grew apart and when I turned 18 and began going out etc things changed and I met someone new, before going any further with the 'someone new' I ended it with Adam through writting him a letter telling him that I had, had some of the best times of my life with him etc and that I think the main problem was that me and him were just too different. Adam texted me and told me he agreed with my letter and that was that, it was over. For the first two or three months I felt absolutely nothing, I manged to blank out any memories and times me and him had shared and I got on with my life and started dating this new guy. However just recently I have started to really, really miss Adam and the things which we used to do together, take for example this morning whilst walking home I went over a park and all I could think about was the times when me and him had visited the park and how good it had been, I felt such an idiot because I nearly burst into tears there and then. Plus I just dont feel what I know I should feel towards the new guy, he is so kind to me but to be absolutely honest the thought of him even touching me makes me feel physically sick and I have no idea why, he isn't exactly a bad looking boy. Because I felt like this towards him I decided to attempt to end it with him just the other month, I explained that I was not yet over Adam and that I felt I needed to get my life together on my own, he wouldn't accept this and was very upset and I felt very bad, then my mum decided that because I had done this I was a really horrible person and wouldn't speak to me, I really cannot help the way in which I feel and all of this is just making me so sad. What should I do? Please give me some advice and be honest :)
View related questions:
miss my ex, my ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lucky786 +, writes (29 July 2011):
 I think you did the right thing ending it with Adam but I don't think you gave yourself time and space to deal with the end of that relationship before you jumped straight into another relationship with this new guy. Rebound relationships don't work they are a temporary solution to loneliness and in my opinion, not worth it.
Now you're unhappy with this new guy, you're looking back to Adam and the feelings you should have dealt with when you broke up with him, are coming back to haunt you.
Remember one thing, you broke up with Adam for a reason, it was the right thing to do. Now deal with those feelings and give this new guy a wide berth.
You just messed up and the best thing you can do for yourself, the new guy, your mum and Adam, is to take time out to work on your own self-esteem and confidence.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, whattodoabouther  +, writes (29 July 2011):
Ok. I'll be the realistic one here. You ended it with your ex. You had your rebound with the "new someone". Now the fun of the new guy has been lost. So you ended that. Now you are thinking I wish I had what I had before. Don't!!! Been there done that. The grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side is totally true. What you had the first time was great then terrible and back again to great. Thats going to continue if you go back to him. You are 18. You are growing up and becoming an adult. Walk away from both of them. Learn about who you are. Real life is beginning for you. Become strong in who you are and what you need then learn to analyze what you need to do to get what you need. Notice I didn't say to get what you want. What a person needs to do at 18 is take care of their education and their life before they seriously involve themselves in others lives. I'm 33. Been there. Done that. You're learning and you'll spend your whole life doing it.
...............................
|
