A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Lately, I have been pondering if I really want a relationship. Being a quiet, observant guy all my life, I seen how much of a hassle relationships are whether it be from school, college, or my siblings. At the same time, I do want to be in a relationship, but that's probably because I have never been in one. Also, probably because I've been a bit lonely recently. In any case, I just really never bothered with it. Well, an unrequited love (got over that) and someone who I had thought I liked (really liked being with her more than liking her), but those don't really relate to relationships.My friends and family asked why I haven't found a girlfriend yet. I honestly don't think I'm ready to deal with the mess of a relationship. Apologies for any confusion. Even I am trying to figure out what I really mean...I just want to know if this is normal, how I can sort this out, or why I really feel this way. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Lucky786  +, writes (29 July 2011):
 Non-family relationships are scary and come with risks but without them the world would be a sadder place.
We've all had our hearts broken but they mended again leaving a little scar as a reminder. Relationships are messey but can be wonderful too, just caring about someone other than yourself and knowing that we are cared for too, feels good.
Life has no guarantees my friend, we all of us take risks everyday. If we didn't the human race would have died out centuries ago.
When you're ready and only when you are ready, give it a go.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (29 July 2011):
 Well, it appears you're scared. You worry a lot. You think about the worst things that could happen, you sort of take all the pain in advance.
But, at the end of it all, you don't know if it'll turn out horrible. Maybe it'll be the best time of your life, once you meet the right one. Maybe it'll be great for a time and then end, maybe not. You don't know. And I guess that'd what it all comes down to, you are scared of the unknown. You're scared of what will happen if you take the plunge and develop feelings for someone. Maybe the unrequited love scared you from wanting to develop feelings for someone again, as unrequited love stinks. I know. It stinks.
But I say... you go through life only once, and everything should be tried at least once or twice before you knock it and say it's not for you. Anything else would be you being too scared to live life to it's fullest.
Live with no regrets! And don't worry, even if a relationship turns out messy, it wont kill you! You'll get back up on your feet. After it's all been said and done, only then do you know if it was worth it.
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