A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am so confused. my left side of the brain is telling me he just used me for sex. He would never take agirl like me seriously, he would never like somebody like me, he is so much better than me, he can have anyone he wants, why would he choose me?My right side of the brain very well knows that,He could have meant it. I live in a small tropical country...it was my bday I was chilling at a bar telling a friend how much I want to move to new york....so long story short. girl meets boy. boy is gorgeous, sweet nice, extremely hot,sweet,nice, beautiful, ummm did i already mention seet and nice?girl likes boy. but boy is in town for a day he is visting from another country, he's a tourist was just in town for that one night will go to the beach for a week and come back into town one more night before flying back home.so girl and boy meet while he was out with his friends and she was out with her friends. he asks her to come to the beach with him. girl can't go she doesn't have the money right now. she's just a student. he's a cfo or ceo or whatever. supposedly he has money.girl and boy end up sleeping together cuddling the whole night. girl thinks guy will think shes a slut and he just used her for sex so she forgets about him. girl is on the phone telling her friend that the guy will never call her, because he's prob hooking up with a super model ina bikini at the beach as we speak. he prob doesnt even remember her name.:( At the same time, boy is actually leaving her a voice mail saying how he wants to talk with her but her phone is always busy. he wants to meet up when he comes back and go to "dinner"but when they meet up...he says" we just didn't want to go to sleep on our last night here, the boys wanted to go party"(girl thinks "ouch" but at the same time he confesses that he DOES want to hang out just with her. ok cool.boy and his friends complain about money the whole time out, and pay for the cheapest, seriously cheapest hotel. (I thought they had money?)(or HE had money?)(what happened to dinner?) now it was just tequilas...and not even that many :/boy says "ure a psychologist what is ur analysis on me?" girl tells him how she thinks he just wants to take advantage, but she doesn't mind. wink ;)(as to not make things akward) he says, no if u were in NY(where he lives) we would be dating.(cchhyea riight as if)I think you are an awesome, smart beautiful girl(blah blah)after sex girl gets a bad case of diarreah of the mouth and confesses she has a boyfriend.(oh great now she looks like a double slut).a few hours later they had to take their flight. everything was so rushed,:/I think I noticed him stand offish after I had my bad diarreah of the mouth.after that I focused on just forgeting about him, deleted him off my facebook. he hasn't even bothered to send an email saying hi.he said we would keep in touch and that i should move to new york and bla bla bla.so the question is, did he just use me, or did I fuck things up?or did he just use me.I think he did. he's a cfo, he's gorgeous,a nd he lives in new york where there's a lot of beautiful women, he expects me to believe that he doesn't have somebody way better than me, waiting for him at home?(new york)somebody write something.........oh, btw, I may osund like a have really low self steem but I don't,I give myself credit and i have a healthy body image. i know im attractive, but i'm just anormal girl. u know. whatever. lol.
View related questions:
cheap, facebook, has a boyfriend, money, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2010): hey it;s me..the girl who wrote the question...he didn't want to spend his last nitght getting drunk with his friends he wanted to spend it with me, he made it pretty clear he wanted to get rid of them and hang out with me...but i kind of wished he would have gone to dinner like he kind of promised.
and he did offer to pay for the trip to the beach...just not ALL of it...and even some of it...was too expensive for me at the moment(hotel,expenses,etc.)
they did saty at a really really nice hotel while at the beach, but right before they left and when they just got here they got shitty hotels, nderstandable..since they just wanted a place to sleep before catching their planes.
supposedly, he's not a CEO, he's a CFO.
If he wanted to spend more time with me he could've come a day earlier AT least, so things wouldn't be so fucking rushed.
and he probably isn't a CFO, cfo's wouldnt really complain about money. hell, when I go out with my friends I don't complain about money even if I'm down to the last penny. I'm always generous, considering, next to him, I'm super poor. I don't complain because I know before hand what I'm getting myself into.
anyway, thank you all for your responses. my evredict, is that he's just not that into me.
and he probably does mil cows in Iowa.
which is fine.
but yeah, it was fun while it lasted. I'm over it now.
thank you all for your responses!
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 September 2010):
 You sound like a girl who's capable of sense of humour and self- irony : use it.
Stop "emoting " and keep it real.
Did he use you ?.... Not the way I see it.
That was sex between consenting adults. No promises, no love vows exchanged, no expectations created. Plus, it's always a case of "buyer beware " and, in case you had been tempted of indulging in too optimistic romantic dreams, - you had already had a couple of eye openers that should have helped you in reading the situation . First, if he is an affluent ceo or whatnot,and if he was so into you why did he not offer to pay for your trip to the beach ? You would not have accepted, ok- but hey, he could have offered. Second, - when he comes back he wants to spend the last night getting drunk with his friends ???? Aw come on, he can do that every day in NY- that's as if he had YELLED "I am not that into you ".
So why are you acting as if he had seduced you and abandoned you. It does not sound as if the American boy has contrived to make you believe that the story was more than it was : ships passing in the night. Boy meet girl, they like each other, they sleep together, boy goes home and girl stays where she lives ( and where she has her boyfriend,btw )
I think it's true that if you had lived in NY, he would have dated you. As it's probably true, that if he had stayed in your country you would have dated him . IF.
If my grandpa had wheels, he'd be a wheelbarrow.
So,don't see it as other than it was : an impulsive decision ,based on mutual physical attraction.
Not that you have to be scolded or punished for that !
But don't blame him as a "user ". If he has "used " you , it's because you gave him the impression that he was greatly welcome to do so.
...............................
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (11 September 2010):
 Sounds like you both used each other. He just wanted a quick holiday romance, and you wanted to indulge in the fantasy of a handsome wealthy stranger romancing you.
Sounds like you both got what you wanted.
The person I feel sorry for here is your boyfriend.
...............................
|
