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anonymous
writes: I dated my boyfriend for 8 months and we were very much in love. I have wanted to go study abroad for a long time. A couple of months before I met him I found a way to go. After falling in love with him we both knew that I was leaving for a year. It broke my heart that he did not want to stay together. He broke up with me two months before I left to date another girl, but he still told me he loved me and I still slept in his bed. While I was away we talked all the time and he emailed me almost everyday. Now that I am home on Christmas vacation he just wants to be friends and says that it will be easier on both of us that we don't get this feelings that makes it harder for me since I still have six more months away. I love him and he tells me that he loves me and that he wants to get back together when I get home. What should I make of this? Is he just making it easier on himslf because of my absence or is it an excuse to be with other girls? He talks of marriage sometimes, shouls I buy into it. I'm 22 what should I be thinking?
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reader, jo_betty_smith  +, writes (17 April 2005):
 It sounds like he is just distancing himself from you as a way to cope with you being away, but there's no way that you can be sure about that. The fact that he has dated other girls means you should tread carefully, as he might end up hurting you.Keep in touch with him while you're away, but don't wear your heart on your sleeve. As much as possible, try and keep it so that he is the one who has chase after you for contact. You might not be able to help thinking about him a lot, but he doesn't need to know that.When he talks about getting back together on your return, be coy and tell him you will see how things go - and mean it.He has messed you around a bit, so make him work for your affection and trust and let him prove to you how much he wants to be with you.If he won't wait around until you're ready to try again with him, then he would only have ended up hurting you anyway.
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