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female
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anonymous
writes:I am in a LDR for the past 5 years. Our relationship had been through some rough times, but we have been able to work it out. However, this last time, I don't think I had been able get pass through it.What happened was that he was messing around with another girl, and although I am not 100% sure whether he slept with her or not, the thought of it still remains on my mind. It has been 4 months of it, and I have noticed that I changed towards him. My perception about him changed completely. I can't trust him, I don't know if he may be doing it again? And I don't care checking if he is. I guess I got tired of it since it is not the first time he lies to me. I love him, but I am not sure he is the right man for me.I am the most undecided person ever; and I don't know what to do with this feelings. I feel as he disrespected me so much, that he does not deserve me.I know I need time to heal, but how long? what would you recomend me to do in a meanwhile... we've been together for 5 years... Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009): 5 years is a long time to just throw it all away, i would suggest telling him everything you just wrote. Be honest with each other because communication is the key, infact i am going through a LDR right now and my SO (signficant other) brought up the same feelings you were having several months ago, we talked about it and sorted it out, we have been ldr for 4 years. I was glad she brought it up because it shows she still cares and still wants me and i feel the same! LDR's are hard because we dont know what the other person is doing, so your mind begins to wonder all negative type things which is irrational when you think about it.. because you are in a relationship and commited, why would he see another girl when he has you? He would break it off with you and persue her, clearly he hasnt done that so i would not worry! especial y if you dont trust your b/f! its all about TRUST COMMUNICATION! talk to eacother and express how you feel, what you want and what can be done. Dont expect to much from eachother otherwise expectations will rise and all hope will die. Goodluck!
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