A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have just been dumped by my boyfriend, we were in a long distance relationship. He said " i dont love you anymore and im sick of waiting for you to relocate to me"...the thing is it was only two days ago when he said "i love u, miss u and ill always wait for you"...so the whole situation is confusing to me.. i do think theres another girl. I know that what has happened is for the best because he clearly doesnt care about me..the last text i got from him was "stop asking questions! im sick of waiting for u"..i sent him texts after that going " im heartbroken, how could u just stop loving me? etc" and no reply... so i decided to send one final text " take care and good luck with life :-)"..no reply... this was last night. i havent heard from him and i dont think i will. how do i cope and move on? do you think he'll message me ever or even think of me? i have deleted his number and everything. i feel so heart broken and rejected, i was planning to move to him but it was just taking a while for me to get a job there. Now hes just given up on me :( ..i feel so empty. i feel like ive probably been replaced by someone else who he wants more and thats a horrid feeling. Yesterday he did say, "if you ever back in my town, itd be could to catch up and maybe get a drink.. you will find someone perfect for u"Its been about 15 hours since this has happened. i would appreciate any advice.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2012): Hi girl, we have all been through breakups. It's important to stay strong throughout this entire course. You have been fully committed to him, so it will be painful for you. Nonetheless, there are a lot of people around you who care for you and love you genuinely. Try spending more time with them and let them show their love for you. Sweetie, you will go through this eventually :)However, it does seem rather suspicious that he broke up with you suddenly. My advice for you is to find out the truth of what truly happened. Was he really sick of waiting in this LDR? Or did he really left you for another girl? If you don't know the truth, you will never stop thinking about it. And years later, the reason for this breakup will still be a huge question mark in your head. To truly get over him, you have to find out the reason why.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (17 December 2012):
 I’m so sorry you are hurting. LDRS are hard. How long were you two LDR? Were you ever in the same location? How long had you been trying to get a job?
It’s only been 15 hours… in 15 days you will feel better. In 15 weeks better still…. And in 15 months you will have moved on. ONE day at a time….
His rationale for why you broke up is odd especially since you were trying to get a job to be with him…..
He may think of you.
He may message you… to be honest you are better off just moving forward.
It doesn’t matter if there is someone else dear… the fact is, he broke up with you and you need to just move forward as best you can.
My standard HE BROKE UP WITH ME RULES:
1. You have six full weeks of pity party.
2. You may go without makeup,
3. you may cry about him, write long letters to him and about him (NEVER TO BE SENT)
4. you do not have to be social or kind in the next 6 weeks (work is excluded from this or school if you attend school)
5. eat what you please, comfort food is allowed
6. whine to any and all girlfriends that are willing to listen
AFTER 6 weeks you must “pull up your big girl panties” and deal with life again… dress nicely, put on makeup if you wear it, get to the gym if you go to one or work out if you had stopped at home…
You will still cry
You will still think of him… in fact in the beginning you will think about him 24/7 and that’s NORMAL. For a few weeks, he will be the first thing you think about and then you will think about him all day, then you get into bed and he’s the last thing you think about… and that is NORMAL.
One morning in a few weeks you will wake up and he won’t be the first thing on your mind but you won’t even realize it… you may be in the shower when he first appears to your brain…
Every day it will be later and later in the day when you think about him.. till one day you get into bed after a full and busy day and he comes to mind… and you realize “hey this is the first time all day I’ve thought of him” NORMAL and a good move towards healing.
Be kind to yourself… be forgiving of yourself and of him.
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A
male
reader, Joey Notice +, writes (17 December 2012):
I dont think he really loved you all that much in the first place. It is better you found out sooner rather than later.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2012): I think as hard as it is, you need to tell yourself that you are lucky you found out now before you uprooted your whole life and moved for him. The way he has handled everything (I may be wrong but it sounds as though he ended things through text?) including snapping at you when you asked for a proper explanation, shows how heartless he is. You have had a lucky escape. Please try to put all thoughts of him having someone else out of your mind too because it really makes no difference now - things are over. You are torturing yourself if you focus on the whys, what you need to focus on now is moving on. I know it's not for everyone but I read a good book called 'it's called a break up because it's broken' and it really helped me to move on from my last relationship. It's written as a humorous pep talk with lots of good examples to help you pick yourself back up. Maybe give it a go if you need a bit more support? Good luck!
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