A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and long distance for almost 1 year. Up until a few days ago, I thought our relationship was amazing. I considered this relationship the healthiest, most honest, and loving one I've ever been in. However, the last time he came to visit, he was being extremely protective of his phone. I never suspected him of being unfaithful, until that moment. As soon as I asked him if I could look through his phone, he became extremely nervous but he did agree to hand it over.I saw all of these texts conversations to unsaved numbers. Some of the conversations were just regular flirting and some were extremely sexual (i.e. exchanging nude photos). He claims to never have met any of these girls and that he only did it because he was bored/lonely without me. Of course, seeing all of that killed me, but the worst part was that he had also been texting his ex. The ex who, according to him, was emotionally and physically abusive. The ex who he claims is desperate to get back with him. He told her about all of our fights and painted me as some evil person.Apparently this has been going on for a large chunk of the time we've been long distance. He appears to be extremely ashamed of himself and he swears to never do it again. He even gave me all of the passwords to his social networks and email.I am so angry, hurt, shocked, and disgusted, but I'm still crazy in love with him. He didn't physically sleep with anyone, but this feels just as bad. What do you think of this situation? What should I do?
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flirt, his ex, long distance, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 September 2016):
 If you stay with him you will regret it, he has broke your trust, that will never fully come back, you will always be checking his emails and texts, that is not fair on him either, he will have no privacy. You will drive yourself crazy wondering what he is up to. He has lied and he has cheated. I know you love him, I was in your shoes, I took him back and I was so miserable for so long. You need to look after yourself, be brave and strong, because if you forgive him he will know he can get away with this.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2016): I think you are in shock. Its so hard after seeing all the evidence. Sometimes it takes a while for the heart to catch up with the head. You might not like the replies on here because you are hurting and they hurt you more. The truth hurts. You need to surround yourself with friends and family now and be gentle with yourself.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 September 2016):
 Let him go.
He isn't going to stop doing this and he isn't going to stop lying to you and about you.
He "said" he didn't sleep with anyone so what? He is emotionally cheating ON you. He isn't done with his ex.
You shouldn't HAVE to go through his stuff to ensure he is "behaving" - you are not his mommy. HE should KNOW how to be a decent partner and person, he ISN'T. He just doesn't CARE how it makes you feel. My guess is he blames his actions on it being an LDR or you not paying enough attention to his needs.
He "swears" he will never do it again? I all BS. All he will do is get better at deleting them or get a secondary phone. Don't be so naive. IF he REALLY thought it wasn't OK to do, he wouldn't have done it.
STOP wasting your life on this guy.
And what exactly is there to be so "crazy in love" with? Are you so desperate to be in a relationship that you are willing to let a guy treat you this way?
Think about it.
Don't you deserve to be treated with love and respect? If so, this guy isn't it.
Sorry, dear OP I think you are fooling yourself if you think 1. he will stop 2. he will respect you and the relationship from now on and 3. that he won't like to you face anymore or talk shit about you behind your back to make himself look better.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (10 September 2016):
 Leave
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (10 September 2016):
 You're still crazy in love with him? Well then it's time to take off the rose-colored glasses and see him for who he is... A cheat and a liar. So what if he didn't sleep with any of these people? Does that make him any better? This isn't something he should given a medal for!!
Come on OP, don't be deluded. If you allow him to get away with this then only you will be blamed.
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