A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a long distance relationship. We've been together 3 year. He's so amazing and Im very much in love with him. Due to the distance we were finally able to have sex recently. I was a virgin and he wasn't. It was horrible. Even though I'd never had sex before I know it isn't suppose to be like that. He wasn't sweet about it, it was more like wam bam thank you mam. It lasted all of maybe 2 mins, no condoms, he came on my chest, threw me a towel, then went to sleep. No cuddling. Nothing. We had all night and it only happened once. I never orgasmed and was completely unsatisfied sexually altogether. It felt like a one night stand. My question is should I break it off or not? I'm still in love with him and he with me, but I'm not sure if I can stand much more unsatisfying sex
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condom, long distance, one night stand, orgasm Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (6 May 2013):
 This guy sounds like he's way too much into porn. Does he seriously think that's how sex is? I think you should try talking to him bluntly about it first, but if he can't change, then you should move on.
A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (6 May 2013):
 That isn't a nice experience for a first time. Cumming on your chest then throwing you a towel suggests he has little respect for you and sees you as more of an object than a partner. You could try talking to him about this. He should have realised a first time is a big deal.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2013): Did you tell him it was shit? Did you tell him that you weren't satisfied? Did you ask him for head or do anything other than just get boned and say nothing?
If so OP then you too were shit at sex that night.
You're with him 3 years and you judge him on one night, and your actually thinking that breaking up is better than speaking up?
If you know what it's supposed to be like then why did you not speak up?
Look it feels shitty I get it. He wasn't the Twilight like love making session you assume sex should be.
Well guess what, that's down to you too.
Just because he's not a virgin doesn't mean he knows how to satisfy a woman OP and if his other sexual partners were like you then how is he supposed to know what's right to do?
OP teach him and learn with him. Tell him the sex was underwhelming, tell him where he went wrong and what you'd like next time and take it from there.
OP a lot of women do nothing but expect us guys to know what we're doing and if we don't figure them out the first time we have sex with them they think we're shit at it. Not everyone takes to sex straight away, not every guy knows what needs to be done and the fact that most women can't orgasm during intercourse doesn't help that either.
Most guys only get better from feedback OP and it seems you're not willing to give him any, you just want to run at the first sign of trouble.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2013): Sorry about your experience. Some men are like that. 2 minutes is not unussual for a young man. But don't judge based on one night. Give him another chance. And if you see that the trend continues, then deside. He could be nervous also. Men who finish so fast know that it's not supposed to last 2 minutes, and feel frustrated about it. He looks though that he is a little insensitive about you being a virgin with him. This finale on your chest should be postponed until later times, not the first time around.
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A
female
reader, Got Issues +, writes (6 May 2013):
 OK so you've found someone who's bad in bed, but you can work on this. The first thing is that you should insist on him using a condom. INSIST. If he gives any kind of excuse for not being able to wear one, then you don't have sex. No sex is worth an STD, especially not bad sex.
He may just be very selfish in bed. Sounds like he has been watching too much porn because he doesn't really know what women like. I know I'm not in the minority when I say that the idea of someone cumming on my chest is gross.
Before you do it again you could have a conversation about what kind of things you might like, what kind of things he likes, too. Take your time. If you tell him what you like, it may remind him that sex is about two people, not just one.
The first time usually isn't very good to be honest, it takes time to get to know the other person, their body and the things that work for them and for you. Get to know your own body as well so that you can communicate with him.
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