A
male
age
36-40,
*harger
writes:Hello! Well I kinda have a problem. I met this girl online about 3 weeks ago and we've hung out a lot. We decided lastnight that we would be together. Today she ran a marathon and she wore shorts which she hasn't at all since I've known her but I went and picked her up and I noticed her legs weren't shaved and it bothers me a lot. I know not every girl shaves but I've grown thinking girls should always be shaved. I mean I understand if she hasn't for a few weeks but I'd hate to be with someone who never does. I'm 26 and have never had this problem before. I'm afraid to bring it up cause I don't want to embarrass her and I don't want to be a jerk but it really does bother me. So I guess I'm wondering how I should handle this? I really am a nice guy. Any help will be appreciated! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2013): Why would you feel like a bad person? You have only just met her, you sound as though you feel sorry for her. You're not obliged to go out with her. Don't go out with her out of guilt. If she doesn't shave her legs that's her business, if it means that much to you, don't go out with her. Just tell her you aren't right for each other and move on.
A
male
reader, Charger +, writes (6 May 2013):
Charger is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not sure if she waxes or not but she doesn't seem to be one who does that. I just feel that if you don't shave on a day your gonna run a marathon with thousands and thousands of ppl the you probably don't at all.
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A
male
reader, Charger +, writes (6 May 2013):
Charger is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI did congradulate her on running a marathon! I'm just afraid of hurting her feelings cause she isn't too confident right now cause of past relationships I think. She also doesn't hang out with friends much cause she has a 1in a half year old. She told me that she only been with one guy off and on since her kid was born. He hasn't been to nice to her lately I guess but she still seen him and stuff cause she felt she would be alone if she did stop talking to him. I just find it really awkward to bring shaving up. Like I said if she just hadn't shaved lately I can deal with that but if she's the type that doesn't at all then that's what kinda scares me. She doesn't have to dark of hair but it is noticeable. I don't want to dump her over it cause ill feel like a bad person but it really bothers me. I know I guess that kinda makes me shallow but I can't help but be bothered by it. Yes winter just got over not to long ago but now the weather is in the 80's and its shorts weather. I just really don't know how to bring it up subtle. I guess I'll just wait and see. Thanks to all who answered!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 May 2013):
 Maybe she waxes them and she's due for an appointment?
you have to have growth to wax. I much prefer waxing to shaving.
but the best thing to do is talk to her about it. It's an awkward conversation early on in a relationship but if it's a deal breaker for you, then you have to do what's right for you.
The question is, if everything else about her is great, would her not shaving her legs be a deal breaker or just something you had to get used to?
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (6 May 2013):
 Give it time. If she hasn't been in a relationship in a while, and it's winter anyway, she may have not thought it was worth the bother.
I went for a first date with a girl once, in the middle of winter. She'd never had a relationship before, and in winter here you're always fairly covered up. So I was shocked to find hairy armpits. She hadn't planned on showing that much skin -- it was very spontaneous. After that she was always shaved (thank goodness).
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2013): It's not remotely disgusting TrancedRhythmEar
It's cultural.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (6 May 2013):
 Lol dude u need to be honest with her. Ignore her feelings but be respectful. Women like men who are honest like this it shows confidence n assertiveness. Thats disgusting btw.
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A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (6 May 2013):
 She might shave before you see her naked. I always shave my legs for men but if it was just a one off run I might not bother... Don't worry till you know whether she shaves at all. Also I think she would be really offended if you told her so prob best not to mention it or do it very subtly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2013): Wait and see, maybe she has a medical condition or something OP, maybe she gets heavy growth even after a day or two, has darker hair than usual and does shave or maybe it was just that one time and she had a reason.
If you like her wait and see. She could be like my fiancée and doesn't mind hairy legs unless she's going to be getting intimate with a guy.
I don't mind stubble or a bit of growth at all. Leg shaving is hassle for her and I don't expect her to always have them shaved.
She mostly does shave because while it is a chore she loves the feeling of freshly shaved legs and clean bed sheets. She's always on at me to try it once just to so I can see how good it feels, yeah, no thanks.
Say nothing for now and see what happens. I've dated women who didn't shave very often and only for intimacy, the cool thing about that is when they turned up for a date with their legs shaved, I knew it was on. Pretty cool that as it meant I only had to get them somewhere to be alone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2013): If it bothers you that much, just tell her you don't think you're right for each other and break up with her. You haven't been together long so it'll be easy to move on.
Would be nice if you felt proud of her for running a marathon but if your overriding feeling is repulsion at her legs, what's the point of continuing?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2013): You need to tell her, that's the only way. Personal hygien is a very tricky situation. Especially if she came from Europe, she might not shave her legs ever. I grew up in Europe. I never shaved my legs until I came to states. But I hardly had any and very light. Same with other body hair. I never shaved in a pubic area, only trimmed. My husband absolutely hates any hair downthere, and he told me. I shave there since I met him.
If you don't tell her, how is she going to correct the situation? I would rather my boyfriend tell me thatn kept silence, not liking me because of that.
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