A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay guys i really need help with this one. I have been with my boyfriend for 15 months now, we are a LDR (long distance relationship) and as you can imagine, it is very very hard. Since i have been with him, we've had amazing times together etc, but i always felt he was messing around or not completely commited. Anyways i saw a few texts, messages and that to girls saying things that i thought was quite inappropriate for someone whose got a girlfriend. Two days ago, i was chatting to one of his friends on facebook who told me that my boyfriend has been messing around and was even seeing another girl a few weeks into our relationship. I emailed this girl and she told me yes they had started dating, but then she found out about me after about 3 weeks and cut it off, she then went on to say he text her a few times the end of last year saying he missed her. His friend has painted a big picture of him messing around, saying 'there are definetely other girls, hes always been like that'. I confronted my boyfriend and he said to me 'Honestly yes i write inappropriate things to girls, im a young guy and my girlfriend is on the other side of the world but i dont act on my comments'. He has cried down the phone saying he loves me and physically cant lose me, he has said that he has never ever cheated on me, hes just wrote stuff to girls.What should i do? Eventhough i was obviously upset and angry, i said we're over, changed relationship statuses etc, told people we're over but he keeps telling me has never ever cheated on me and can we work this out? He is meant to be going back to his hometown for 2 weeks next week to hang out with his family and old friends, and he has even said 'i wont go home, ill use the money to fly you here next week because i cant lose you and have to see you' Do i take his friends word for it and walk away? Or do i try and work things out with my boyfriend?
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female
reader, deesparkles  +, writes (5 July 2010):
Sorry to say this but I would walk away and my boyfriend would too if roles were reversed. You have his friend telling you that he has always been like this and has never changed and another girl telling you that she dated him. If she hadn't broken it off with him, would he have acted upon things?
If you are in a "relationship" then you deserve the respect from that person to be loyal, faithful and honest to you. If you can't have that then the relationship is doomed.
Honestly, do you WANT to be with someone that behaves in this way with other girls? He never ever will change and you are worth more.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010): well depends what you call cheating? maybe he is only telling you what you want to hear and not the full story, you can never tell when people lie. but he did say that hes a young guy and that your on the other said of the whole, so basically he put that idea in his head. if i was you i would just leave it, he prob thought that he could get away with it and that his friends wouldnt rat him out. but they did, i would forget about him and move on
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