A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Since we have been living together (2 months) I have been the one doing the laundry. I have been the one primarily doing the laundry because I am much tidier than her and I generally don't like to go more than one and a half weeks without washing.So my girl today said that she doesn't like it when I don't put her clothes away for her. Keep in mind that I actually washed the clothes, folded them, and put them on the bed so that she could put them away herself.My first thought is that the comment was ungrateful and that she was acting ungrateful. When I brought it up to her she attempted to explain it away by saying "she's not ungrateful but she views me not putting them up as doing a half a^^^^d job"If I was in her shoes I would look at it as the person did 80% of the work and I will be thankful for that, and just put up my stuff and be happy.So my question is , is she being ungrateful, or am I messing up by doing a half a^^^^ job? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for everyone for giving me their opinions. Just an update on this situation that has been working is, we have been doing the laundry together and everything gets washed, folded and put up by both of us at the same time. I am not sure how long this is going to go on , but it is working at the moment.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 November 2011):
 Eh, I think she is being totally ungrateful!
Honestly, I would tell her when I do laundry I will: wash, dry and fold it, but SHE put HER OWN away. Or, I can do my laundry you can do yours.
I do most of the laundry in this house. With 3 kids and 2 adults, I bet you can imagine how much that is. Each child has a basket ( they are between 7-11 years old btw) and I wash it, I fold it and I put it in their basket, and put the basket in their room. THEY put the clothes in their drawers. (things that go on hangers I usually do for everyone) My husband get his clothes folded and on his dresser. I put my own stuff away. It works for me. If anyone in the house have complaints..... well, then they can go fill out a complaint form and then go fly a kite!
I can imagine how she would complain if stuff went in the wrong drawers...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2011): we don’t know, maybe she is doing all other things at home like shopping, cooking and cleaning and you are just doing the laundry? If this is the case then we cannot consider her as an ungrateful person. But if not then ask her to do the laundry every other week and see how she does it!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2011): Unless your a kink and secretly enjoy being a doormat, i would tell her to xxxx off and do her own. spunky monkey
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 November 2011):
 Well, while generally I belong to the school of " if you take on yourself to do a job , then you have to do it well , otherwise might as well not doing it at all "( my husband ruined hundred of bucks of my expensive lingerie doing laundry... and then , he also wanted to be thanked because he had done laundry to begin with :), I think you are right, not even in luxury hotels the service includes that washed and folded garments are returned to their owner's drawers . Plus, I hate having somebody go into my closet or drawers, not that I keep any secrets in there, it's just a matter
of psychological personal space,...I can't be the only one weird like that, right ?
So, personally I'd sau that you provide a more than adequate service :) and she is being princessish.
Yet, it's not worth arguing over something so trivial, is it ? Rather than demanding for a gratitude which is not spontaneously forthcoming, why don't you just agree on a regular routine for laundry ( say, every Saturday, or the 10th,20th,30th of each month ) and take turns doing it ?
So,
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2011): She is being ungrateful and childish. You're her boyfriend, not her servant. If talking gets you no where, I would simply do your own laundry and when she wants a clean shirt let her do her own laundry the way she likes. If she brings it up, tell her you don't want to upset her with your half assed work.
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (5 November 2011):
 just my view on the subject. i she works more than you , or you have more time than her,it will not hurt you to help and do the laundry and do a complete job as possible including putting up some of her clothes that you know were they go. if you both work about equal you both need to share the responsibility and help each other out. love is giving and looking out for your partner , not seeking your own or looking out for self. that is the way i look at it.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (5 November 2011):
 No you're not doing a half hearted job. Either get the word 'slave' tattooed on your forhead and put all of her clothes away for her, or make her do her own bloody laundry in future!!
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