A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I went on a works trip with my partner (his work)and i noticed he flirted a lot with his younger work colleague and she flirted with him.He texted her when she wasn't with us to see what she was doing, and she even rang our room to arrange us all going out (I have to say her fiance was on the trip too).When we all got home, my partner and I went for a night out (meal and drinks) then when we got in - he started to text his "mates". I saw her name in his IN box quite a few times and even saw him write a long text back to her, which had xxxx's. We then had a BIG row.!Later that night, he was drunk and looked at me and called me her name. His excuse was that he was drunk.The next day he went for a drive for a couple of hours (he had done that the day previous too).He says he would never have an affair with someone he works with and she is alot younger. She isn't getting on with her fiance either.When I ring him on his cell phone, he never answers, but always answers her calls.He sends me one line text messager replies..and his phone is always on silent and PIN protected.About 6 months earlier, he had a fling with another woman her age - but chose to stay with me.I have booked us into relate and he said he would go but now has work issues and can't.I feel i am flogging a "dead horse" - although he tells me he loves me but that I need to stop being jealous and paraonoid.He is always tired when he is with me but when he is on work trips, he goes out drinking until late.Sorry this is a long message - and I sort of know the answer...I have started to pack some of my stuff up.But why does he say he loves me and wants us to work, when he never wants to really be with me.
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female
reader, miss fit +, writes (4 May 2007):
you say your husband has had an affiair before?
all he's doing is picking two women and then deciding which one he likes most, regardless of your feelings. give him an ultimatum. you or a life time of flirting with women who also have crappy relationships.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2007): So sorry, you must be in a lot of pain. The simple truth is he is not good enough for you. It is likely that he has issues, which are not your fault and nothing to do with you. You could always leave a note to say you are leaving and that if he wants to go to relate fine, but otherwise you don't want to hear from him again. Tough love. You can't make him want to be faithful or true to you, but if you go ahead and be strong and he makes up HIS mind that he wants to try....maybe. You have given him chances and been understanding, forgiving and fair. Good luck and well done, keep to it and mean it.
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