A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ledies, you meet a new interesting guy. When do you allow that first intimate touch? Is it any different if you meet him while you're hurting from a recent break up? Your answers are important to me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2011): If I had a boyfriend, I would wait a couple of months (like 4-6), that is for sure. I'm glad that some other girls answered your question with a similar answer because I was starting to think all girls are like my former best friend, giving hand jobs on the first date.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 November 2011):
 What's the first "intimate" touch? Touch my genitals you mean? That happens only after we've already been together a few weeks into an official relationship.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (30 November 2011):
 depends on how old I am and what my experience with other men and sex are
depends on how i meet him
depends on what I want from him
depends on a LOT fo things.
what do you mean?
a hug? could be intimate or not...
a kiss? depends on where and how
a hand on the small of my back? (a very intimate gesture btw)
a grope of my breast? crass and not intimate...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2011): Its not wise to want to use another person to help you heal faster as when you are hurting; you aren't thinking and feeling good enough to make a clear, honest choice. She's vunerable and wisdom says, back off and give it time.
And I agree, I've been heartbroken and soul wounded, sex wasn't forthcoming for months and months after the fact.
So give up the Ghost man and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2011): I know from the way this question was worded that you want women's responses, but as a guy who has experience in the dating game I felt I had some input worth sharing. The answer is that this varies wildly from woman to woman, and one woman may even move quickly with one guy but make another guy wait weeks or months. The woman's value system, how into a guy she is, and her mood are all variables in this equation. Also, whether a woman wants a serious, committed relationship or is just looking for something casual is a key factor.
My advice is to push the envelope but don't get carried away. If a woman shows signs that your advances are unwanted, like pushing your hand away, then back off - she's not ready yet. The majority of women take longer than men do to get to the point where they want intimate contact with someone, but because they know that's what men want there are many who will "give in" before they really feel they're ready.
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A
female
reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX  +, writes (30 November 2011):
 I guess it would depend on the guy for me and what the touch was. My ex (my 1st boyfriend)and I had the first kiss, holding hands and making out within the first week of going out and then he touched my breasts after a couple of months. After about 5 months we did fingering/handjobs, then a month after oral on each other. Sex though wasn't until about 8-9 months into the relationship. I'd also been friends with him for a few months previously.
My new boyfriend I've only been with for nearly a month, and i only talked to him the day before we started going out but we had/have a very strong intense instant chemisty/connection and we made out on the first day. He's also touched my breasts and I've given him a handjob about a week ago. I don't want to go further yet though, and we both want to wait for quite a few months before sex.
I wouldn't ever have intimacy like this if I wasn't in a proper exclusive relationship.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 November 2011):
 I guess it would depends on what you mean by "first intimate touch" - if you mean sex or just a caress or holding hands. To me a caress on the face can be plenty intimate. If there is chemistry it would be hard to keep my hands to myself, but as far as sex, I'd like to wait a good 4-6 months.
If I was still on the rebound over someone I wouldn't want to have anyone touch me or touch someone, but some people use sex, touching as a way to try and forget the heartache. It really comes down to the person.
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