A
male
age
36-40,
*ourAverageJoeS
writes:Soooo I recently "reconnected" with an old friend. After friendly conversation about the past and how things were going we moved into currently relationship statuses. Once I disclosed that I was single and looking she replied with we will chat later about that. Later she initiated the conversation and was asked about living situation, job, etc. Over the next few days we continued to talk and I finally asked her for a date and she immediately responded with a yes ( I was not really sure I would get one or not) She immediately tried to set a date but I was not available at that time and I responded the next day with an alternate date. She has not responded but obviously read. There was no hey let me check or anything. Is she sending mixed signals, too nice to have said no and now regrets it, or am I overthinking it? I don't really open myself up a lot for dating and it takes a lot for someone to spark my interest and especially enough to ask them out. Well ladies, let me know what you think!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, YourAverageJoeS +, writes (12 February 2015):
YourAverageJoeS is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI totally agree about the not asking someone over facebook and text. I like to do it in person but I feel its easier to put someone on the spot online versus in person (easier for them to give a rejection and be more honest about how they feel). For all the same reason you listed I completely but I try to be easier on the other person. Possibly viewed poorly by women, but I guess that's my gamble! :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2015): Maybe she feels like you left her hanging when she tried to set a date and you were unavailable. And then it took you until the next day to respond.
This is why I hate doing stuff of this nature via texts or im. I save that for when I am bored and simply shooting the shit with my friends. There is this immediate disconnection from the real world that just doesn't work for certain types of conversations. That leaves a lot of room for misunderstanding. You send a message then go take a bath. Come back answer the message, maybe ask a question, then go take a nap. Respond three hours later. That's not a real proper succinct conversation, with a beginning, a middle, an end and then closure, in a timely fashion.
I personally never go out with guys who ask me out over the internet or in a text. If you want to go out with me, you have to pick up the phone and CALL. If a guy does not have that common sense and sense of formality, I don't even waste my time.
I think you should send her a message and ask for her phone number that way you two can have a NORMAL, beginning to end, one-stop, conversation about this. In my opinion, that is the proper way to ask a girl out anyway.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 February 2015):
 She asked you to jump and you told her no can do.
I see this being her thinking YOU contacted her because you are lonely and single, she... might just be playing games. Maybe she just doesn't want to seem to keen or desperate and thus holding back.
Give her (let's say) 3 dates you ARE available, and let the ball stay in her court. If she doesn't get back to you within a week, move on.
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