A
male
age
36-40,
*id wicked
writes:Hi. I have a huge problem. I'll quickly tell you things before i get onto the main part.I'm 20 and been going out with my girlfriend for 2 years. Before her, i had 3 girlfriends who all cheated on me.Anyway to the story. About 8 months ago, i found a number in my girlfriends phone. It was a particular number i was looking for too. i didnt know she had it and after work (we work at same place but didnt meet there) she would sometimes mention him, but not much. I went in search of his number and shockingly found it.After confronting her, she laughed it off and said it was nothing. The next day she shouted at me! She had this number for four months and claims to have forgotten it was there, saying it was worthless. She also claims to never have used it, never given her number to him and that he took her phone on a lunch break and put it in her phone.It took her weeks to apologise properly for having his number and tell me what happened.But after what's happened to me in the past, her 'claims' seem too convinient to me.How can she forget a guy put his number in her phone?? why did'nt she stop him?? surely she led him on or didnt say she had a boyfriend?? Did she ever text him??Whats worse is that i encounter this guy everyday at work and it makes me sick just to think that she may of wanted his number or anything else. Even though she took his number a year ago, and i only found out 8 months ago, it is the only thing that gets in our way and i can't get it off my mind. To me, nothing adds up with it. I expected her to say ''i dont want/need you number.'' or anything to defend us as a couple.Please i need just some friendly advice.She claims it is nothing. I claim its a lack of caring about our relationship. Surely people know not to take numbers off guys/girls who obviously aint giving it out to be friends. And i've seen him do it before to other females at work, and you can tell hes only after one thing.Thanks xxx
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male
reader, gmoney  +, writes (15 October 2008):
I think that you are absolutely right. She should have deleted the number, really she shouldnt have given him her phone. Especially if you all work together that is really disrespectful.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008): First of all, commiserations about being cheated on before, you've had a bad run of luck.
Does she ever flirt with this guy? Does she still have his number on her phone?
Obviously you will have trust issues and you may now be seeing signs that aren't there. Chill out and lock your anger safely behind a door. Sit down with her and address your worries in a calm manner. Explain why you are so upset about the number and urge her to be honest with you. If she values you she will be honest but remember that 'honest' does not mean she cheating/ed. In the end your going to have to try and seperate your ill-feelings of the past and not confuse them with this woman. She's not your other girl friends and every relationship is different.
Good Luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2008): I think you need to chill..most people have lots of phone numbers, I have phone numbers of people I barely know, they just gave it to me and I put it in, it doesn't mean anything. Please try and trust her! Has she done anything else that makes you so distrustful? You could really do damage to your relationship if you keep this up.
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A
female
reader, abby5000 +, writes (14 October 2008):
if your that worried about it check her phone records to see if she ever calls him, get on the same phone plan its
"cheaper" and easier to check numbers. if not let it go,
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2008): No you are right to be concerned. You have received similar treatment before and your senses are tuned to it.
If someone grabbed my phone and put their number on it the first thing i would do is delete it right there right then. So would 99% of the population.
That sounds very very fishy.
You sniffed the air Bloodhound and youve found her out. I don't need to be told he's a bit of a player.
Be strong move on!
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (14 October 2008):
 Yeah, I don't know if a phone number is enough to really be suspicious. A phone number is sometimes just a phone number - I have more numbers in my phone... most of them I never use, but they're still hanging out.
If you guys have a strong relationship together, trust that she's doing the right thing and not getting sketchy with that guy. A mere phone number is not a trust breaker, it's not a betrayal.
Relax, my darling, and enjoy your relationship together.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2008): You need to get over your trust problems. I have a lot of numbers on my phone, several which are known 'players'. This doesn't mean I feel anything for them, it just means that at some point, they gave me their number. It's not a lack of caring to have someone's number in your phone at all.
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