A
female
age
30-35,
*-Bends
writes:I am in a relationship with the most loving and caring guy you would know. However in the bedroom he always takes the lead and control because I struggle to know what to do and get really self conscious. I was wondering if anyone had any ideas about me overcoming my confidence issues and things that I could do to turn him on and keep him in suspense like he does me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2009): I've had a similar problem before - I wanted to try new things, but I was too self conscious (about my body, about things potentially not going well) to really get into it. My partner has always hinted at wanting more aggressiveness in bed, so I got around this by introducing a blindfold to the bedroom. After I blindfolded him, I had my way and did all the things I had been meaning to try and he was really into it. He later told me that he had experienced his most intense orgasm to date. We'll certainly be trying that one again.
A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (1 September 2009):
 I do like being in charge in the bedroom. I figure it can be the case for some men as well.
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A
male
reader, childof1981  +, writes (1 September 2009):
 First order of business is to build your confidence. Don't think you need to go wild to impress or captivate him, just focus something simple and build from that.
Think about what your guy compliments you on and do something to focus attention on that feature, follow that up with some oral sex. I recommend oral sex because it puts him in a more passive role and gets you used to the "drivers seat" so to speak.
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A
male
reader, Zaph +, writes (1 September 2009):
Hello, i dont know you or him personally so follow my suggestions at your own risk. Me personally if i had any questions about something sexually with the girl i was with, id just try a bunch of different things and pay close attention to the body language, obviously smiles are dead give aways as something right, but it can be more than that, a ripple going through their body, maybe a noise, but always be observant as if what you are doing is making them uncomfortable, or maybe he likes it the way it is already and doesnt want it different. However if all else fails....JUST ASK HIM WHAT HE LIKES!!!! i cant stress that enough, granted asking may not be sexy or seductive, but isnt doing that and knowing for sure what he likes better than poking around in the dark and getting no insight as to how close you are? I hope this helped and remeber AT YOUR OWN RISK.
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