A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I posted this question a little while back but it didnt get answered, so here it is again:Hey all... heres the thing, i got with this girl at a party last weekend. Nothing major really, was all over her for most of the evening, you know just "accidently" rubbing up next to her, making sure we sat next to each other all the time, the usual stuff. Later on we ended up outside with a load of other people (dont know how/why, i was kinda drunk), and the two of us were just sitting on a wall talking, my arm was round her waist feeling her up a bit, and she was kinda huddled up. Then she turns to look at me, and says "Dyou want to?" - and all of her sudden her tongue is down the back of my throat.20 senconds later she stops and tells me she has to go, i beg her to stay (mostly the booze talking i think) but she ups and leaves...My problem is i cant stop thinking about her. We used to go to school together but i barely talked to her (we're both quite shy), i always kinda liked her though. That party was the first time we'd seen each other in over a year - i feel like i just really wanna hang out with her and get to know her a bit, but im thinking it would be weird if i just randomly started talking to her on facebook or something, because dont really know her and i doubt she feels the same (she wouldnt of just left the party otherwise).So should i dismiss what happened at the party as a bit of fun and just get on with life? Or should i talk to her - and if so could you suggest a way for me to do this without freaking her out?Sorry for the novel by the way, i just thought the full story would help...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2009):
if she was willing to allow u to be close to her in the party .. u should try to contact her ... and girls normally wait for a guy to make there move... so if u like her give her a hint... cause right know if u are thinking about her... chances are she is doing the same thing and right know ... saying something like "if he likes me ... he will find me "
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah thanks for the advice both of you :)
And youre totally right, i have to just go for it otherwise itll eat away at my thoughts and ill be living in regret - no-one wants that. I mean whats the worst that could happen if i talk to her, right?
I think i might wait until i bump into her though, we have lots of mutual friends so chances are we'll meet again soon. This way it i wont seem so pushy, and by meeting her face to face ill be able to get an idea of how she feels.
Thanks for the great advice guys, youve actually really helped me out here...
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A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love  +, writes (27 November 2009):
I say add her on facebook but dnt act too interested right now. Add her then wait for her to contact you after that. Dnt even think about getting urself wrapped up in this girl yet. A 20 second spit swapping session while ur both sumwut inebreated dnt mean anything. Just chill out on her and make her work for wutever affection she wants frm u.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2009): Hi there,Sounds like you're very interested in her and so i doubt telling you 'to get on with life' is going to be as easy as all that. But, I wouldn't be telling you to do that anyways, even if it were easy. Life is about risk and 'putting yourself out there'. If you don't give this a go, you'll always be wondering "what if".So, yes! I definitely think you should try and contact her. Why would that be weird. There are a multitude of reasons as to why she would have up and left the party, other than your belief that she's not interested. Perhaps she freaked out? Perhaps she thinks she was too forward and stuffed things up with you and so she left? Who knows?You can only know one way or another, by touching base. What's the worst that can happen.... she doesn't want to pursue anything? But! At least you'll know. Then and only then will you be able "to get on with it". We don't like 'not knowing' us humans. we need answers, closure.So, f you're friends with her on facebook, why not just post a message saying "Hi, was nice seeing you the other night. You left like a rocket though and I didn't get a chance to say bye. How would you like to catch up for a coffee and give me the chance to say bye this time? :-) Or "Hi, was nice seeing you the other night. Pity you had to leave in such a rush. Hope everything was ok? Would it be okay for me to message you on facebook - I'd really like to get to know you better"....Or a mix of those?If you're not already facebook friends, you could still put through a friend request to her and attach a message with it.Good luck with it! Good on you for pursuing her - don't ever let fear of rejection/uncertainty/whatever hold you back. Life is too short - take it by the horns and run with it. We make our destiny!
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