A
female
age
30-35,
*hura
writes:I was with a guy for 3 and a half years. He was my first serious relationship, I really loved him a hell lot thus I guess you can say I was blinded.Within months of us being together, he was already flirting and liking one of our friends.. and this lasted for around 5 months. All the things i had to put up with, their behaviour together.. I'm the type who liked to avoid drama so I just let things go easily. Maybe he took advantage of that. He always put me down, and tried to make me into a clone of her. "You should exercise you know" and asking me to dress like her. I couldn't take it anymore and six months into our relationship i blew up on him about it aand we broke up. He kept denying he liked her and chased after me like no other.See, this is our cycle for 3 and a half years. I'm soft hearted so i always forgive; he'll come back to me and do something stupid again, we'll break up and get together again when he begs for another chance.The last year we were together, in 2010.. this cycle stopped. Instead, he started taking me ffor granted and treating me badly. Never picking up calls, I always had to ask him out, he would ditch me for his friends etc etc. I felt so worthless to him. What hurt was I was having so much problems with family, I was so depressed.. and I felt so alone :'( In november, I told him I want out of the relationship. AGAIN, he cried and told me he loved me and he wanted another chance and stuff and he can change. I loved him loads so i thought maybe we could work things out. I let him into my life again. Just so you know, I've already been waiting for almost a year for him to treat me better at that point. He started feeding me loads of sweet words, that he wanted to marry me and be with me forever etc etc. I let all my walls down, and finally thought maybe he really was the one. And.. he dumped me. :( He asked for a break for a week for him to think. So I kept begging him to come back. Saying we could work it out.But he claimed I am too stubborn, and he hated the fact that I told him I was 'considering him', (which I told him because he was treating me like shit and I meant that I don't know how long I can be with someone who did that to me) . Just like that, he didn't want me anymore? I tried my best to work it out. But who knew he had found someone else to pursue before he dumped me? I found out through his facebook. His best friend was teasing him online with another girl. I asked my bf about it and he denied it and said he has no idea why his best friend said that. I also asked him the following questions:Do you like her?Do you think you might like her?Are you considering her?He said No to all of it! And even swore upon his mother. I trusted him despite everything and let it go. The next day, I left for a holiday with my family to india. He pretty much waited for me to leave to start flirting with her. How I found outt about her you ask? She posted on her facebook "I'm sorry to get between you guys but your bf is chasing me"I was so heartbroken at that point. I called him and asked him about this. He claimed she started messaging him first (acting like he had not intentions) and I started getting suspicious.I logged onto his facebook to see that he started flirting with her and telling her we've broken up. All of this, on the day i left the country!! I got so mad, I told him I didn't wanna talk to him again and put down the phone. He got together with her two months later.It hurts so bad; I had asked him so many times whether he really wanted to be with me cause he crushed my self-esteem so many times.. he liked other girls, even hit on my own sister and all. He always put me down and stuff but i still loved him anyways. And he just went off to another once he had made full use of me. I'm so crushed. It's been months but the pain of betrayal hurts so much more than the heartbreak itself. Has anyone gone through very bad relationships? Does karma in relationships really exist??
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female
reader, Molly0102 +, writes (26 March 2011):
I've been through a very bad relationship whereby I got two timed so I understand how you feel when tour guy is flirting and hitting on other girls. The worse part was he only came to me when he really needed me and consolin in because his gf was too selfish to care about him. So, he cheated on her with me and she cheated on him with other guys too. By now you might be wondering why I stood by that guy. First, I didn't know he had a gf. Second, when you really love someone, you don't really see his flaws. For my case, it never occured to me that I was merely a reserve. So you're not the only girl out there stuck with a jerk like your bf. There are many different types of jerks out there. I think it's time for you to pluck up the courage to walk away from him. Girl you deserve so much more and from the way you talk about your relationship, you're one who really gives their all. And I feel that that guy is really unworthy ofIt if he doesn't appreciate your love. It's simply time to move on and not be affected by his honeyed words anymore.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2011): hi girl, i'm from the same country as you and i hate to tell you this but your bf is a jerk. :( firstly, what kind of friends do you keep around you? If any of them responded to your boyfriend's advances, then shouldn't you be kicking them out of your life? Some girls are really not worth having as friends. Secondly, your bf is just stringing you around for his own pleasure. I doubt he knows what true love is. Honestly, i feel he is using you to feed his ego. You are just a tool to him. Convenient, and easy to placate. You deserve much better, and you have to believe it. I highly suggest burning bridges with him. Delete him on facebook, stop contacting him in any other ways. Yes it will hurt like hell but remind yourself that you are a strong lady and will get over it eventually. Don't let your boyfriend drag you down into his games and dumbassery like this. Also, have more respect for yourself. I hope you find strength to leave him cuz honestly you deserve better! yes karma does exist. One day, it will sock your boyfriend in the face. People like your boyfriend will find it hard to find true happiness because their actions and attitude keep getting in their way.
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