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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi...I recently asked to have a break with my bf of nine and a half months and I'm not sure what else to do. I asked for a break because I noticed more and more things he did really angered me and it bothered me to think the more time we spent with each other, the more difficult it was to get along. I don't want to hurt him, but I don't know how to make him understand I don't want to break up--I just need time to think...I felt confused about us and I was really unsure about what to do to make myself be true to myself and honest to him too... Can anyone offer advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, thanks a lot for the advice...I made the break for three weeks and reassured him that this break doesn't mean we're breaking up or anything like that. I need a chance to think objectively about where we're going and if this would work in the future...I mean he says he's happy, but I feel differently, and I don't want to keep leading him on if I don't feel at least equal affection towards him that he does towards me...I just feel confused and I feel like I need to not see him all the time in order to not be influenced by things he does. But, again, thanks for the advice, I appreciate it.
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female
reader, smeedle  + ♥, writes (17 March 2006):
 Sounds like you are being sensible in asking for a break from the relationship, oftern if things are not going well and you just cannot solve them together a little distance can give you the space you need to work through what is wrong with the relationship and if there is any hope.
My advice is to take the bread but to keep the lines of communication open, tell your partner why you need the break, ask him what he thinks is wrong with the relationship, were he sees things going in the future and re-assure him that you need the break to work through your feelings for him and are doing this for all the right reasons.
But you must be honest with him if you do decide that you just cannot get on with him anymore, finish with him as soon as you know that is what you want to do, if indeed you decide this as keeping him dangling is not good for his moral and self esteem and is cruel.
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