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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi there i am 17, male and live in the UK. Now i'll start by saying this site is brilliant! I come by here every day.Now to get serious i asked a question a couple of months back in December:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/desperately-need-help-after-my-first-girlfriend-dumped.htmlAs you can see it was a bit of a mad situation. But now that's in the past. I have patched things up between my freind and yes even my ex. But i still dont trust them.More to the point. Since all that happened i have not had a girlfreind. Now i go out on weekends and have fun and see my freinds. I am not unpopular at all i get on with most people i meet, and i have fun when i am out and am generally a happier person than i was when all the madness was happening some months back. I still go to the gym and am in good shape more or less. Not what i want yet, but i am happy with myself. And i enjoy going down the gym and generally keeping fit, although it is more of a man's gym not many girls my age go in there.But anyway i think my motivation to go out and try to pull has gone. I mean say if i am out and everyone is dancing i just dont feel like going out and trying at all.What makes it worse is that my ex and my freind are getting along so well and so are most people i know. Not that i want anything to happen to them, but it just makes me feel terrible everytime i see it.And people telling me i will be ok just sounds like a cliche. I am glad they care but it dosent really solve my problem.I am not asking of everyone to solve my probelms instantly. But i just want your thoughts and opinions on my situation. Mabie it would help me clear things up...Thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2006): I have been single for most of my life and to be honest i know the only way for me to be happy is to get a new girlfreind. But, i guess i do need some time alone to get some thinking done. Thanks for your answer.
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (17 March 2006):
 Good that you have started to move on, but you are just starting and getting fully over someone is hard and it is a slow process.
You have made huge progress but still have a lot of hurt and mistrust in you, this will not go away fast and time is the only healer.
You are bound to see things a little different now and are probably right not to fully trust your friend and ex but in time they will show you that you can trust them again.
Trust has to be earned. keep going out and about and make some new friends, dont worry about getting a girlfriend you are just not ready for all that again and are not fully over the first one yet.
Take time for you and enjoy being single.
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