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female
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anonymous
writes: Me & my boyfriend have been together for 4 1/2 yrs and he & I have been through a lot of difficulties and made it so far. He is my best friend and we have always had an amazing sex life but recently I have found it increasingly difficult to have sex as I just don't feel the chemistry like I did. I am so confused. We talked about it and he thinks that I don't want to be with him anymore but that I am scared to move on. I just can't bear the thought of not having him around but I just don't know whether it is because I still love him as more then a friend or whether he is right and I am just scared to be alone. Please help!.
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best friend, move on, not interested in sex, sex life Reply to this Question
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female
reader, pinksoftkitten +, writes (12 July 2005):
The longer you go without sex, the harder it's going to be to get going again!! How about a quickie now and then, to relight your passion. If you don't have sex at all, you will lose the desire to have sex. It's as simple as that. You need to make the effort, and see if you can 'get into it' again. If not, then you will end up going your separate ways!!
A
reader, pops +, writes (9 July 2005):
Only you can now the answer. Trust us when we tell you that you can make it on your own, that your own company is often the best, and that you will only be as lonely, as you want to be. There are a lot of people out their who need a friend, and a lot of men out there who are looking for romance with someone who will be loyal, kind and considerate of them. Take a break from the BF. You don't have to burn bridges, unless he insists upon it. He has his own feelings to be hurt over this, too. A little time to yourself to get a better idea of who you are, what are your best characteristics, your worst, and a renewed confidence in yourself as an intelligent, warm, and loving human being will give you a new perspective on your life, and let you better see what has happened to your relationship. Perhaps you have been kidding yourself for a long time. All relationships take work by both partners to make it go, and some relationship die for reasons beyond the control of either partner. You certainly aren't best friends with the girl you were best friends with in first grade, now, are you? What happened to that relationship? Its the same deal. People grow, and change their interests, and sometimes that growth takes them away from the people they love. If people actually died from a broken heart, our cemeteries would be overflowing. they aren't in reality, and you will survive.
I have been friends with a high school sweet heart for 40 years, even tho' she " dumped me " for her husband, and moved 2000 miles away. She has two childen, and three or four grandchildren, but we still stay in touch, mostly by email. On the occasions when we talk by phone, which is often years apart, its as if we have been talking every day since H.S. Its eerie, and we have talked to respective spouses about our relationship, and they seem to understand that while we deeply care about each other, we are both very happily married to our current spouses and have no desire to change the situation. It does happen. And, no, you can't plan this kind of thing, or cause it to happen. pops
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