A
female
age
36-40,
*hatcanido
writes:Im 20 and I got married last year and I don't think I love him anymore his family is amazing and I knoe he loves me so much but I just dont love him as a husband what can I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AskEve +, writes (30 March 2007):
 What attracted you to him in he first place? How long have you known one another? How old are you both? Why the change of heart? Get back to me with the answer to these questions and a little bit more information and I'll see if I can help you through this.
Eve
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2007): Suck it up.
No one ever gets married and doesn't at least once worry they made a bad decision. But the good ones remember their vows and they honor them.
You say you're 20. My guess is you're worried b/c you just don't feel butterfly-y around him anymore. You don't get that feeling of "oh-my-god-i-can't-believe-he-picked-me!!" anymore. His irritating habits aren't endearing -- they're irritating. Well, that's just a relationship that hangs on past the first little while.
Marriage is about so much more than what you feel on any given day. And honestly, it's even about more than what you feel over the course of a good long while. It's an awful lot about what you do -- how you treat him, how you think of him, how you talk about him.
The problem with the world today is people take vows and make promises, and the minute things don't seem to be what they were expecting, they start looking for ways out. Not cool. Spend some time thinking about what's happened b/w you guys since the wedding. Spend some time thinking about his good qualities. And then just act as though he's the most wonderful man you've ever met, even if you don't always feel like it. You'll be surprised how much that can do to set your feelings back the way they should be.
One bit of advice -- I wouldn't necessarily advise sharing all of this with your husband right away. I'm not saying you should keep it from him -- if he's sensing there's something wrong, don't lie to him, for sure. But there are times when love is not saying the things that will be hurtful and that honestly just don't need to be said. Unless there's really something to be gained by telling him this (and not just relieving some guilt you may be feeling about not being a 'perfect' wife, which you should let go of anyway), maybe hold on to this for a while until you've had a chance to think it through a bit more.
And whatever you do, stay away from other men right now. Just don't even do it. It's stupid.
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A
female
reader, Reebe +, writes (29 March 2007):
 Hello
Did you rush into marriage by any chance?
Is there anything you and your husband can try to rekindle your love for him? Or do you just not feel that way about him? Did you love him before you got married?
There's alot of questions you need to ask yourself before you do anything rash. Send me a message if you want to discus this any further.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2007): im so sorry to read this,but dont just think of giving up you must have felt diffrently when you married him?i cant offer you anymore advice as you havent written any background info.
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