A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:The past few months have been very stressful for me. Im graduating college very soon. I fell for my best best friend. He spent xmas at my house and we hooked up. It was so exciting and everything was great. we have lots in common and he was mad about me. I knew for a long time that he liked me but i was afraid things wouldnt work out for ages. I just broke up from a long relationship 6 months previous and had still been living with my ex. I was still living with my ex because I loved my old house. It was a mistake I know this now. we were seeing each other sleeping together hanging out every day etc all january and feburary. hey were problems we were havin. He wasnt happy i was still living with my ex.but he still came to be with me there etc. I was also afraid to move out because i was so busy with college and thought it would ruin my work focus. In the end of march ..about 5 weeks ago now ..he told me that he wanted to stop sleeping with me and said his heart wasnt in it ...this came as a bit of a shock cos everything was going fine enough between us.I really thought we'd end up together eventually..I was crushed.The first thing i decided to do was move out of my house with my ex and that happend quite quickly. i ended up writing a letter expressing my feelings to him and doing a painting for him to show hm i cared about him. We met up again about a week later, we had a talk and he said he just wanted to be friends and he wasnt ready for a relationship and that he felt pressure for one from me...he was afraid of us sleeping together cos he said he was attracted to me but didnt want things to go anywhere etc....after that we slept with each ther a few times...but the days after he wud be distant and this wud drive me paranoid...i felt like an idiot...we used to talk on the internet all the time andi still do talk to him and its like we're friends now...he asks me out for food to fancy restaurants (cos we both really like good food etc)and ive askd him to go to his house and now he says no all the time...the most pathetic time was we went out for my birthday and i really made an effort to look great he paid the huge bill..but just hugged me when we were leaving i asked if he wanted to hang out more but he said he didnt and made up some excuse that his house was messy...he helped me with my college project last week...i know he is a good person and there for me when i need help, we went out to dinner 2 nites ago and kissed me on the cheek when leaving. I cant seem to stand not saying yes to when he asks me for dinner ...cos i really like him and of course wanna be around him...he really has the power in his hands..cos he is well aware i have feelings for him..the only thing i can imagine is if i go away for a couple of months when i finish up college in june ..or even a month so i can get him off my mind.. cos right now ..we're friends but im biting my lip
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