A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 3 years and am pregnant with my 2nd child.Recently found out from my husbands x room mate that while we were engaged he was bringing girls back to the house and sleeping with them.Help what should I do.I heard a girl at a bar come over to him and want to know why he was ignoring her friend right before we got married and although I never let on I had heard this am now very concerned she was probably more than a friend
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): Hi...I know what you are going through I have been married for 7 months and 1 month after the wedding I found out I may have an STI I was 5 months pregnant and had been in a relationship with my husband for 2 years before we got married. I didnt have an sti but having to go to the clinic with my husband being pregnant was so humiliating,
It was absoloutely heart breaking I was so angry, hurt and most of all scared of what the future would hold as I no longer felt I knew my husband. I have never dreamed of raising a child in an environment where his parents are argueing or hostile and this was threatening that.
I had the baby 8 weeks ago and he is just perfect and I am so happy that I brought such a bonny baby into the world.
But the anger towards my husband has not gone away, I focussed on the pregnancy when I found out trying not to get stressed as it could affect the health of the baby. We are now trapped in a constant circle of getting on and then I get so angry thinking about the deceipt I am starting to think divorce is a good idea.
I just want to say that you are not alone and the thing that hurt me the most is how many times my husbands story changed, so speak to your husband and beg him not to lie and be completely honest because the truth always comes out and hurts so much more when you no longer know what to believe. Good luck
A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (1 April 2009):
 You need to talk to him. You are pregnant and the stress of it all playing on your mind is not good for you. I suggest you talk to the room mate again, ask him why he told you this now - did he do it because he and your husband have fallen out? Is it malicious? Does he have your "best interests at heart" and not want to see you being screwed over when you have a chikd and one on the way? Talk to him, find out his reasons, then, will solid but gentle conviction, talk to your husband. Dont tell him where the accusation came from at first, just tell him you know or heard a rumour. Depending on how you feel about it, tell him you love him and want to work through it but that you need to know if it is over with now, if it is all in the past - cheating, even before marriage isnt right morally but it happens because people are human, so we forgive and move on or we move on and we dont forget. You have a huge choice to make, but i think you owe it to yourself to ask him about it, give him a chance to come clean but be prepared to her things you might not want to know. The ball is in your court - there is support out there for you even with 2 children. It was highly unfair of you to be put upon with this information in your current condition but there it is, you have it in your mind no and so it must be addressed else you'll dwell on it and start questioning everything. I hope you manage to work through it, stay strongxx
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (1 April 2009):
 Wow, what a great roomie to put this stress on his friends pregnant wife.
You should sit down with your husband and tell him everything that you were told. Tell him your fears and thoughts, and tell him you want some answers.
You also need to ask yourself whether or not you can forgive him for this. Does it matter to you if it was before you were married? If he cheated while you were married?
I would even have the ex roommate over, so that they have to talk face to face about this. If your husband is hiding something, it will be harder to do with his accuser right there to strike down any lies. In the same respect, if the ex roomie is face to face with him and you, he might recant and admit it was all a ruse, or jsut a huge misunderstanding.
But confront both of them, you are owed the truth.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 April 2009):
 All this happened before you were married right? Is his ex-roomate a reliable source? Do you think your husband has been faithful since your marriage? Was he sowing a few wild oats before the big day? Time to talk to your husband.
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A
female
reader, chazx  +, writes (1 April 2009):
 Hello Hun
I believe once a cheater always a cheater and would leave him in a shot to be honest.
but you are pregnant and you need your friends and fanily around you as you know its hard.
Can you stand being alone?
Do you know he cheated or heard a rumor??
Buzz me back!! :)
Chazx
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