A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Three weeks before I was to get married I caught my soon to be husband trolling for sex on the internet. He promised nothing other than curiosity was happening and I forgave him. Now here we are 8 years and 2 kids later and I catch him with an internet account under an alias. He has had it for 6 years, he is part of 100 pornography groups and regulary talking with about 75 couples and women. He claims it has not progressed to the physical. I have never even once suspected a thing. He is a good father and provider. Now what?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2008): the truth is,he will probably have this problem for life.the big question is are you able to deal with it what can happen.usually when a guy gets caught up in porn so much that hes joining groups and things,hes in too far.thats my opinion.also its one thing if a guy sits at the computer and goes to porn sites.theres nthing wrong with that,hes just enjoying himself like nature intended.its another thing when hes chatting to other women and couples,theres a large chance that someday,it will turn into something physical whether he intends for it to happen or not.when hes chatting to all sorts of different women theres going to be the chance of things happening.you need to put a stop to this before it happens
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): I'm engaged to a guy that I have found out that he likes to go to sex sites. our sex life hasn't been affected but it really bothers me, because we have talked about it. Have you talked to your husband about it? He is a very good person and very loving. should i stay with him and call off the engagement or just let it ride out? if you are happy and you have been with him for 8yrs it must not bother you that much.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008): Well, if your husband was looking at porn and said he was curious I would suggest that you just ask if maybe the two of you could look at it together or ask if there is something that you don't do that he may be too embarrassed to ask you...however if he knew you were so upset than I would think he would stop watching porn, due to respect towards you.
As for talking to couples and other women....that is concerning. You need to have a BIG talk about that, maybe even sexual therapy or couples therapy. It is upsetting that men can watch all the porn all the time and have it be socially acceptable.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008): You say he is a good husband and provider and that he has been doing this for at least the past six years. Has that changed, since you found out about his habit? It sounds like he has no intentions of giving it up. So, you either need to accept him as he is, or leave him. Maybe you could ask him to show you the sites he gets off on. Maybe you could enjoy it with him.
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A
female
reader, babewithbrains  +, writes (29 September 2008):
 How's the sex? He could just be needy, maybe he's just desperate for someone to say "oooh, you're gorgeuos!" I don't want to judge either you or him but there just isn't ennough here to work on.Always follow your nose.Jellyxxx
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A
female
reader, OddOne +, writes (29 September 2008):
 Most men go on porn sites, I don't think it's that bother. Maybe something in your sex life isn't going right and it's getting him down? Maybe you should talk to him.
If he's only looking at porn, I don't think it's that much to worry about, but still talk to him.
But, if he's actually meeting people and going physically, or you catch him out, then.. it's up to how you feel.
If he's a really good father like you say he is, he'll never go do the physical stuff though, for the sake of you and the children.
I hope for your sake everything will run smoothly. But I think you both need to sit down and talk.
Good luck. : )
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