A
female
age
36-40,
*iss-innocent
writes:I went out with a guy for about 13 months about 3 years ago but i finished it, i was kinda pushed into it with everyone telling me i shud be single at my age (17) so i never really fell out of love and we have kissed a few times since but we always kept in touch. for the first 6 months it was very hard and we talked frequently but it got to the stage when we talked every day and it was at a point where we almost were back seeing each other (flirting and the likes) but i was always too scared to tell him i was wrong and i still liked him but it started to die again and then i found out he had a girlfriend, we still talk sometimes but this week i found out he was expecting a child with his girlfriend and i am gutted i mean i have cried myself to sleep for the past 4 nights and i don't understand y, is it cause i haven't had a relationship since this one and he has or is it i regret not telling him i still care about him and how do u get over this, its a permanent reminder its not like a new girlfriend... help
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female
reader, Jaded4Life  +, writes (3 June 2008):
I can relate to your story some what because. I was kinda on the other End of this Story I was actually The one having the baby! But I can't Even Imagine Him Being the one having it! Or Even till this day almost 5 Years later Me Finding out he's having One. I don't think i would be able to find what to do with my self..So i can only Imagine what he was going thru and you too! At that point There was no turning back in my life because it was too late. But i still Loved him regardless. Yeah you were young But like some one else said he should of fought for you a little harder.. Because with my ex i was 14 and i wasnt allowed to have boyfriends and he still refused to leave me we would see each other behind my parents back till my parents allowed us to be together!. I Honestly Can't Even Imagine how you are feeling right now! But all i can say is that one thing i have learned in my suffering in life is that crying doesn't help anything is ok to do so..but not to the point where you are just over doing it to your self! Because it is not healthy.
A
female
reader, Queeny  +, writes (3 June 2008):
 sometimes in life we make choices that we live to regret them. when we decide that this shall never happen again, life is kind enough to give a second chance. lol.. you were young and you were mislead by adults who always think they are right. at the same time, i feel that if it went the way it has, it was probably not meant to be. he gave up too easily on you lol.. and this is not the kind of guy you'd want even in marriage (trust me) if he really truly loved you and understood the surrounding situation, he would have not given up so easily even when he knew that you both love each other mutually because you were the one being pressured, he wasn't so he should have made the right choice. TRUE LOVE DOES NOT GIVE UP EASILY NO MATTER WHAT. but we should not entirely blame him because you called it off and he thought it wise to move on.
I suggest you move on too because he should have told you that he was seeing someone else and that he had long since moved on. it is not fair what he is doing to you and the expectant girl... he is the man and he should have acted like a man by not weakening too easily.. so sweetie just try moving on, each new day will be a healing to you as long as you occupy yourself with other things and don't meet him AT ALL.
if you really want to talk about it with him, maybe do it when this other gal has had her baby so that she does not get traumatised while she is still pregnant. but again, she will have his child and they already have the child as a bond so i think you should still not persue this rlshp it will hurt you. he probably has really moved on only that he did not get completely over you as his ex. it is always like that, you will always have a soft spot for your ex.... don be available for him gal. I think its not worth the chase not after that long.. you shall find another man whom you'll be surprised as to how strong he will be to protect you and not leave you when he knows you both love each other... this is the kind of man that shall even marry you and take vows seriously.. 'for good or for worse... in sickness and in...."
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A
female
reader, :):):)  +, writes (2 June 2008):
I think anyone in your position would find it difficult. But this is your big chance to move on and meet other people. You've spent so much time thinking about him and this has stopped you focusing on yourself and other relationships. It may be difficult but you have to accept the situation. He isnt the only guy out there for you, he's just the first, you've just got to get out there and find him.
xxx
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