A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I dated my boyfriend for 1 yr, 9 months, and have lived with him for 1 yr, 4 mos. I left my hometown to move to his small town, not knowing really anyone. He recently broke up with me and I am in the process of moving, reasons being we fight too much. We have fought about my bad habits, which are drinking and smoking (no, not on a reg basis), marriage, and other things such as his friends coming over alot. When he broke up with me I was devastated, and made the mistake of pleading with him. I didn't expect for this to happen, I am still very much in love with him. I have now given him his space, and plan to move next week. We spoke the other day, I poured my heart out about what went wrong and how I wanted to salvage the relationship. He also cried during this conversation. He flip flopped from "we weren't meant for each other, we fight too much", to "it'll never work" to "I want to be single and I just need space", to "maybe we could take small steps, a possible date in the future". Of course, I was the one who asked if we could date after some time. He had even agreed to sleep in the same bed, but after our talk I started to ask questions about the relationship, making him feel uncomfortable. Needless to say we are in separate rooms, but we are making as cordial as possible. I know now is the time to focus on me, but it's hard to let go because I still love him. Any advice would be appreciated. I'm not sure if I should say anything to him the day I move, or if I should call after a month, or if I should just let go, which obviously is the least favorable to me. Help please!?
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female
reader, lintmagnet +, writes (3 December 2010):
You have nothing to lose by maintining space until you work out your own feelings. So many women are concerned about how "he feels about me". What about how you feel about him? If he gives you something wonderful that fills your soul, you can decide if it is worth the effort. If you know you have to work out issues, take an action, join a support group, etc. Prove to yourself and to him you are moving forward-for you.
A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (3 December 2010):
 Hi Anom,
My advise will be to take some time apart and get your life together. fighting isnt healthy in any relationship and if you do want to salvage what is left you have to take time to think about what the main problems were in the relationship and how you would to have handle things better which will be beneficial for this relationship to continue or in any other future relationship you plan to go into.
Hugs
Kelly
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