A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have jealousy issues over my GF's ex that I need help on. First, some background...I have been with her for about a year. When we met, she claims to have broken up with her ex, but she still saw him once or twice for sex in a 4 month span. This relationship with her ex was a FWB relationship that started as friends for a couple years,then turned into a FWB thing for another 2 years, starting out pretty intense, then dyng over the last year or so. He is married, but would not leave his wife. She said she thought she loved him at one point, but realized it was infatuation. I suspect he was the best sex she's had from things that were said and things I read accidentally that she left laying around.She has stayed in contact with him via E-mail, just touching base with each other once in a while to see how they were doing...fine. However, I know she still longed for him early in our relationship, before we became really committed. I even suspect she met up with him, although I cant prove it. That is past now, and we are committed and talking about marriage.Recently, she accepted his invite on FB. They do not exchange much messaging, but he did check in with her a few weeks ago andshe replied. Nothing at all provocative...just the usual, "hello, how have you been" stuff.I am OK with her staying in touch, but her history with him, and the fact that I think she has a special place in her heart for him, make me a bit jealous.How do I deal with this? Is it OK she still stays in touch and adds him to her FB and stuff?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010): Make her your ex too. She's no right contacting old lovers. And the sort of girl who gets involved with a married man. Deep in your heart, is she really the sort you want to be seen with?
Finish it, and find yourself a nice girl!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010): He's married and it bothers you very much. I think it's very inappropriate that they stay in touch this way and disrespectful to you and his wife. It's playing with fire. Ask her why she feels the need to stay in touch with him. Confront her and tell her what your feelings are.
Best of luck. G
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A
male
reader, mulattoman  +, writes (25 August 2010):
 There is one simple solution:
Leave her.
When people are done with some one, they are DONE. They don't try to keep them there as a "just incase" person.
A part of her is not ever him. There's no such thing as being real friends with an Ex. There's always another reason. I know this from experience.
It's your choice to stay with some one who obviously has an interest in some one other than you, or find a person who gives you her 100% attention. I think we both know who will get hurt depending on the choice you make.
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A
male
reader, slapshockz_4 +, writes (25 August 2010):
 one plain answer.. NO IT IS NOT OK ... that is so unfair to you.. it's okz to keep in touch but after hearing the background that she had sick with him for 4 months ... "once or twice" ...that is something else.. she may still have feeliings for him.. so you really have to question and ask yourself.. if it's really worth it? when she says just normal stuff.. just hi and that's it.. you know that that is not the whole story.. and that is not wat happens... you have to stand up for yourself and challenge what both of you wants
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A
female
reader, LiloCoke +, writes (25 August 2010):
she's with you not with him - this is the major point. As for your insecurities, the only way that you might dissolve her memories a bit, is just improving yourself in a better way; u saying she had the best sex, well how about you give her even better? I don't mean you gotta do it all the time, because ur girl also has her memories fresh, only time and your positive attitude will make her memories less and less vivid.
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