A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: For as far back as I can remember, I have been a VERY jealous person. I was jealous of friends, girls in my class, and one day in primary school, my friends mum actually said to me that I was a very jealous little girl because I got so pissed off that she had invited another friend to her house. I remember all my life comparing myself to others in terms of friends, looks, success and life in general. So it came as no surprise that, when I grew up, I'd be an insanely jealous girlfriend. I wish I knew how to control my jealousy or even stop it altogether. I really don't want to be this green eyed monster for the rest of my life! Any helpful advice guys?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 August 2014):
I agree that if it's this severe a counselor is your best bet to fix this.
I will say that jealousy is an emotion totally rooted in INSECURITY. since you mentioned always COMPARING yourself to others and finding yourself lacking, I suggest that once you find a counselor you work on self esteem issues.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2014): Could be that you're competitive - this kinda goes hand in hand with jealousy. Common/base reasons for competitiveness are being encouraged to be so by parents OR growing up with the feeling that there's not enough love and care from parents to be shared equally between siblings OR that you either are or have been treated like an only child and cannot tolerate anyone else seeming to get what you are used to assuming only you will get (which, from an only child's point of view, is everything, rather than a share of something). If it's really a problem then ask for counselling - competitiveness can hinder things like team spirit and team work when looking for many jobs or just for sustaining friendships.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 August 2014):
I agree with Auntie Bim
There is no "instant fix" of jealousy. You need to figure out WHY you feel this way, then get PROPER help in how to deal with it.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (25 August 2014):
If you have been the jealous type for as long as you can remember there is not much the volunteer agony aunts can do that will make a lasting difference.
I suggest you seek professional assistance, or counselling, to determine the root cause of the problem, and then work from there.
First determine the why, and then you can fix the how!
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