A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Jealousy is my greatest flaw, and I get realy jealous. I don’t even want him having girls as friends, or him talking about his past, and he works a lot, and I can’t find a job, so I get jealous that he works with females, and sometimes he works late, and my gut always ruins everything, and I just don’t know what to do, I’m ruining a great relationship with my own insecurities, and it hurts, but I can’t control it. It always seems like he enjoys being around any girl other than me. I Have seen the way he acts with other people, but when he is with me he seems bored and he cant be bothered to make an effort or show emotions around me anymore like.... love, happieness. He has done a few bad things in the past, but only a couple of kisses with 2 other girls but i still get really bad jealousy when i think about it. I must admit i am not any angel, not that i have done anything really bad either. I have tried talking to friends about it but they do not understand. They just tell me to get rid because of the very few bad things he had done in the past. They dont understand half of my relationship background..I really need some answers. What should i do? By the way he is my first boyfriend, i am 18 and we have been together for 2 years and 7 months. Thankss!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): You are young and he is your first boyfriend. It sounds as if the relationship has run out of steam. Not surprising considering you got together quite a time ago when you were even younger (you don't mention your precise age). Jealousy can sap all the life out of a relationship. But here it is a symptom of your insecurity with him. It is a very negative emotion, and hard to get beyond if trust is broken. Don't cling on because he is the only boyfriend you have known. If he is treating you badly it is unlikely to improve. And besides, how many people go on to stay with their first boyfriend forever. You will have learnt from your time with him and so better able to cope with your next boyfriend. It's all a learning curve. Don't be afraid of moving on.
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