A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are great together, he loves and appreciates me and vice versa and the sex is great. The only problem in our relationship is my jealousy! I often ask questions about one of exes of two and a half years ago. He is very honest about it all with me but he never brings her up himself really. He said that her family caused trouble between them and she started to treat him badly after a trip away with him and her family. He was heartbroken. I know this us a silly thing but its eating away at me... I asked him the following two questions during the course of a conversation with him: 1. How was your relationship with her before you had the falling out with her? He said: Good, better than good. Qn2: do you think you would still be together if it wasn't for her family? He said: Maybe, yea... He says that his feelings of hate now have changed to feeling sorry for her.Why is this eating away at me? Should it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2013): Jealousy is a terrible thing and can ruin something nice.. but its natural when you care about someone..
Yes he prob should of gave a more preferred answer ie.. ' yes that was before I had met you dear, your amazing ' lol
But his a male , take it as a good thing he didnt get nervous or cagey talkin to you about it.. he just said it as it was. Which seems he has nothing to hide .
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2013): Sounds like you are trying to ruin a good thing.
There are no easy answers, I've done this myself, and it had a lot to do with fear and wanting to create drama. Maybe a part of you is turn on hearing about your man with another women?
Whatever it is, take the time to figure out why you are doing this. The jealousy part is merely a symptom of another issue here.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (12 May 2013):
 Jealousy is like battery acid. IF you are dumb enough to drink it, destroy your tongue and taste buds, and it will hollow you out and prevent you from ever enjoying the fruits/foods of life, in the future.....
IF you put up your hand and say, "Gee, thanks for the offer, but I'd much rather not experience battery acid as a preferred cocktail".... then you can get on with your life..... the jealousy will have never had a chance to ruin your life... and you can "recover" to a normal life...
Your choice.... drink or pass.....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, angel91  +, writes (12 May 2013):
You shouldn't ask questions you know you don't like the answers to. If you know you get jealous over it, why do you insist on bringing it up?Jealousy is, unfortunately, a natural thing. Nobody likes to think of their significant other with another man/woman, and it's probably eating at you because you know his feelings on the situation. Your boyfriend perhaps wasn't totally thinking of your feelings when he answered those questions, because if he was, he would have carefully worded them. However, think about it - why would he be with you if he didn't care about you.Leave the past behind. Get closure from the questions you've already asked, and don't ask them again (having the same conversation over and over about his past will annoy your bf). Instead concentrate on your future together.
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A
male
reader, Hennessy1989 +, writes (12 May 2013):
 It shouldn't do, but it's only natural to feel some sort of jealousy, this is one of them things when his honesty is a bad thing, he should of just lied and killed the topic forever. As for you I don't know why you would ask these questions, surely the past is best left in the past
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