A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i feel like in a 3rd wheel. my friends with benifits has a boyfriend and at 1st i was cool with that. she knows i love her and she says she loves me too.i want to be more than just friends w/benifits but she wont dump her boyfriend. i know i cant make her but its just so hard to see her with him or even when we are together and she mentions him i get all depressed. i want her to be happy and if thats not with me than i can accept that but i cant deal with the pain of not knowing who she will choose. we have had sex and she hasnt even done that with her boyfriend yet but she cant decide who to choose im going crazy. can anybody please just tell me what to do i need some serious help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2007): it sounds to me like you need closure. You're friend cannot have best of both worlds and you are only prolonging the hurt you feel by continuing to sleep with her. I have been through the same experience and know that this is not healthy. Talk to you're friend and explain how you feel, and let her make an informed desicion.
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (26 June 2007):
 I see so many questions on here about 'friends with benefits' and i can't see why anyone does it bucause in every single case it turns out that one has fallen deeper than the other one and it just causes so much heartache.
If she does not want to have a proper relationship with you and you only, then i would have nothing more to do with her.
You will find someone that wants more from you than just a shag until they find someone else.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (26 June 2007):
 If you love this girl then being a "fuck buddy" isn't a wise thing to do. I would walk away especially since she has a boyfriend. You need to set her an ultimatum. It's the boyfriend or you- end of. She can't keep playing the both of you along and hurting your feelings.
xxxxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2007): Mate if she doesn't already respect you enough to see solely you, then I doubt she deserves your time.
Just tell her what you want and if she says no it's not then end of the world, you'll find someone better in a few months time, or however long it takes for you to realise she's using you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2007): If friends with benefits is not what you wanted, why on earth did you settle for that? That is no way to get to a relationship, my son...If you want to shake this girl's world, then you need to stop the benefits and stop it now....she will come begging if she loves you and if she chooses the other guy, then she did you a favor, as she does not have those same feelings that you have for her, and she is a definate waste of your time and even the air you breathe....if that is the case, pick yourself up and move on, brother.
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