A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay um.. Is it weird if I get jealous of my boyfriends cousin? They're really close since they were kids. But when my boyfriend and I were still friends, he told me a couple of times that he wanted someone like Sofia (his cousin) as his girlfriend! That never left my mind even now that we're already in a 3 year relationship. My boyfriend and Sofia live with each other with their other family members but whenever he gets injured or something, he always asks Sofia for help. He has 2 older sisters that he could ask for help but it's always Sophia that he asks. Sophia is 2 years older than him just like his sister. And his sister is also close to him but he always give Sofia a different treatment... Is it because he likes his cousin?What bothers me more is that he doesn't want me close to my boy cousins... There was even a time when my boyfriend and i were hanging out at my house and my mom was FaceTime-ing with my guy cousin, then my mom passed me her phone so i could ask how he is since we haven't seen each other for so long and we grew up together, i also told him that I couldn't talk to him longer because my boyfriends in the house so i passed the phone back to my mom. Then when i sat beside my bf, he said he thinks my guy cousin is jealous of him..... Like why even????Okay, yes, I'm kind of threatened by his cousin, but Sofia, and one of his older sisters and i were good friends back then.What should i do? I already told him what i feel but it ended as awkward as it sounds and nothing's changed since then. Pls help me. Thanks
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 November 2016):
 A comment that he said has stuck in your head about Sophia, and my guess is that he probably does not even remember saying it to you. Really it is nothing to be alarmed about. He obviously gets on well with her and he wanted someone like her. But look you guys are together 3 years now, surely that is enough to tell you he wants to be with you. Maybe you could discuss moving in together so that you feel closer to him. But I think you need to accept that he is close to his cousin and just because he said that remark does not mean he meant it in a sexual way at all.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2016): I wouldn't have found his remark about wanting someone like his cousin odd - many girls look for someone like their father or brother because they might have qualities that the girls find desirable in a spouse, it needn't be anything sinister.
What was odd was his remark about your cousin being jealous - I don't see why he should've said that and from your account it doesn't seem like your cousin said anything to warrant such a remark.
Have a talk with him and clear things out. It's been 3 years so you owe it to both of you to be honest about what you're feeling.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2016): It sounds like because he knows the real feelings he has for his cousin he would be worried if you had the same for a male equivalent. This situation is not going to improve. The only reason he hasn't (if he hasnt) been physically intimate is because they're related. I don't think there is enough room in his heart and head for your relationship to grow. He's got all your attention and loves it. I'd bail out.
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