A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I ran into my ex for the first time in 2 months. I haven't contacted her, nor have I text her or check her FB. I saw her at a festival; and she came over to me. I gave her a hug and asked her about work, then I walked away. The fact that I saw her brought back memories, then I went back home a cave for the whole day. Ever since, I have been extremely depressed. We broke up about 4 months ago and she started seeing another girl right after we broke up. I was devastated when I saw the pictures on FB and I went into a major Depression that I am still dealing with. I am going to therapy twice a week to deal with the Depression and the gay issue since she was my first girlfriend. Today, I could hold it anymore so I checked her FB and noticed that she has not posted any more pictures with her new girlfriend; I know they are going out together. Why would she hide the fact that she is going out with another girl, could it mean that she still have feelings for me??? Help... meanwhile, I am in my apartment falling into a major depression that I don't seem to get out of... I need help....
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (8 October 2013):
I'd stop wondering if she and you have a future or if she still likes you, thinks about you, etc. Also, you need to realize that the end of your relationship was brought on by a lack of compatibility, not because there is something wrong with you. Don't let it hurt your self esteem. Heck, it could even be that there's something wrong with her... maybe she has issues that make having a decent relationship very difficult for her.
Either way, when you're having problems getting over someone, you want to stay away from wondering about them as much as possible and you need to realize that the breakup wasn't due to some sort of shortcoming in yourself (unless you know of an obvious one that you need to work on).
There are 3.5 billion women on the planet. I'm sure that there's another one that won't break your heart.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2013): Sorry to hear your going through this :/
When I broke up with my boyfriend in February I got seriously depressed. I had already started self-harming and by April I was kind of suicidal. I'm not sure why I took it so much harder than my friends who had gone through breakups before...but I did. It's great that you're seeing a therapist. I did too, which was helpful. When that wasn't enough, I actually took the summer off of graduate school and travelled/farmed (wwoofusa.org) to try to get my mind off of everything. It worked...I'm still struggling, but doing WAY better than I was in the spring. So, don't be afraid to try new things...if you think you need to change jobs, make new friends, move...I say go for it!!!
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