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Boyfriend and I no longer have sex because he's taking of things himself!

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 October 2013) 5 Answers - (Newest, 9 October 2013)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Okay I've never had a problem like this. My boyfriend and I have been dating almost 10 months. We used to have sex all the time and it used to be great! But now we hardley ever have sex. And when we do its kind of boring. He jacks off more then we have sex and when we do have sex he doesn't get off. Cause he's already jacked off during the day I guess. And now I feel like I'm not good enough for him in bed. I'm the shy type I don't moan or anything. I'm used to the guy usually taking the lead. And right now I'm not really interested in wanting to have sex with him anymore. Any idea of why hes suddenly like this? He's 21 and I'm 20

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (9 October 2013):

person12345 agony auntI agree with Caring Guy, porn addictions are becoming more common among younger men. Check out this site for more info:

http://www.yourbrainonporn.com

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (8 October 2013):

Sounds like he's addicted to porn, why don't you talk to him about it? Make sure he understands that this is very important to you and he needs to find a solution if you're to be happy with him.

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A male reader, Dan_uk United Kingdom +, writes (8 October 2013):

It could be that if he takes the lead every time you have sex he is sub consciously feeling unattractive.

Us guys don't like to admit it but our entire self esteem can be tied to not just our sexual prowess but also our partner being sexually attracted to us.

A lot of women rarely initiate sex but imagine it being the other way round. If you were always the one to start things out, after a while wouldn't it seem like he wasn't as attracted to you as you were to him?

I may be wrong but I bet if you could find a way to show him that you find him sexy too I bet he would stop jacking off so much (which could be an escape from these feelings) and start jacking you ;)

My real advice is think back to the best times you had sex and what he did whilst initiating it, as in the situation, kissing and foreplay. Then try doing that to him. Wear something that makes you feel sexy and that he will love and I bet you will see just how attractive he finds you.

I hope that helps in a small way :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2013):

Sounds to me like your boyfriend needs to step away from the porn and get engage a lot more in the real world with a real person, which is you.

Please talk to him about it. If you can have sex with him, you can talk to him too.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (8 October 2013):

Honeypie agony auntHave you asked him? If you can have sex with a guy you OUGHT to be able to talk about it, shy or not.

Ask him straight out:" have you noticed our sexlife has become rather crappy? Do you think we can work on that?"

Bad sex can "kill" a person's libido for sure. So it could be he is as turned of from sex as you are, but is still self pleasuring.

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