A
male
age
41-50,
*ustLooney
writes: To make a long story short, I cant seem to clear my head about my ex when we broke up 2 years ago, Shes gorgeous and so attractive but its been my biggest mistake of my life, My problem is that i keep trying to make her my girlfriend again, She totally ignores me for other guys when im trying to show her i love her but ive been trying for 2 years, I know a lot of people are going to say move on but i cant and ive tried alot and i end up breaking it off because i dont feel happy with the girl so i end up single again, right now me and her aren't talking at all, I send her love letters via Facebook but those dont seem to work i need a new approach, My main focus is that im not happy without her, Im a junior in college and shes a sophomore at my college i see her all the time but shes always with her best guy friend hes not her boyfriend but when i try to start a conversation with her she doesn't seem to be focused on me shes always looking for her best friend, Any advice on what i should do, I really love this girl I try to move on but I'm not happy with other girls please help me.
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best friend, broke up, facebook, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2013): hey, love sick puppy! How cute, your so in love with your ex.
If I were you think of the things that made your ex gf lost her love for you.
What are those things? Stop doing it.
Stop trying too hard. What you need to do?
Just try to be her friend. Plain friend.
For now.
Stop sending her love emails, flowers and compliments.
Just treat her like a PLAIN friend.
Then just see how it goes. Make her know that your a change man. whatever annoys her, get rid of it.
Then think of the things that made her into you before.
then be that GUY again. But don't push or try too hard.
When your no longer annoying in her eyes,
that's the right time to tell her how you feel for her again.
Try one last time. if she still say no, then its time to accept she's not for you.
What men don't understand about Women, Sometimes when we say NO it just mean NOT NOW. not really NO.
So Good luck!
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (1 August 2013):
 JustLooney, your attentions are unwanted. At this stage (2 years), you really should have got the message. This is beyond normal. You are torturing yourself, and on the verge of harassing this woman (that's probably why she's always looking for her friend - to rescue her from your attentions). It sounds like obsession rather than love: you wouldn't want to make someone you truly love uncomfortable.
I mean this in the kindest way: seek professional help.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2013): Coming to the end of a relationship, is much like grieving . Our emotions/feelings are not 'taps' that we can turn of with the flick of a wrist.. That doesn't mean that there is no hope.. Love will come again, when your ready .. Until then don't date .. Take time have girls as friends and nothing more .. Let your heart heal .Whatever the reason you two broke up, the way you are going will not change the fact that she has ' moved on' so stop sending the love letters afterall all your doing is stroking her ego..Send her a message apologizing for acting like some love sick Romeo, you understand totally that she nolonger wishing to be in a relationship with you.. But you are hoping you two can remain friends.Then totally back of dont not text message her for at least a month.. When you do message her, keep it light keep it witty concentrate on how your doing and ask how she is of course but nothing heavy and go from there . I'd say a message to her every month is acceptable zIf time passes and she see you maturing some, she might reconsider who knows. All we so know, is your actively pushing her away so she won't be interested . I mean your behaviour is almost 'stalkerish', wouldn't you agree.Now it's okey to be down as I said relationship end we all have to grieve . But get out with friends , put effort into your study , make females S friends only and who knows how things will be a year from now .. Take care and give her space ..
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (1 August 2013):
 Dude this is finished. Id speak to a counselor about closure. Dont chase. Its wussy anyway n I see her eventually getting very angry. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (1 August 2013):
 Are you really between aged 36-40 and a junior in college? Not judging you if you are, but that would suggest that this girl is significantly younger than you and she's probably trying to find her way in the world as a new adult.
Honestly, you sound way too clingy and intensely obsessive. Love letters on Facebook? You're "not happy without her"? And this has all been going on for two years?! No wonder she won't take you back, you're probably freaking her out.
Again, not trying to be callous, but I think at this point it's time that you talk to a professional for guidance.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2013): Sounds to me like you've been trying to "move on" with other girls before ever fully getting over your relationship with this one.By doing that, of course you're dooming those new starts to fail. I'm betting it goes like this: you date a girl too soon, find yourself thinking of your ex because you didn't give it enough time to get over her, and automatically assume the new girl must be wrong for you or lacking something because the torch you're still nursing for your ex is getting in the way.Here is my advice to you:Take some time for yourself. Be single. If you are college aged, there is NO reason why you should feel pressure to be in a relationship. Date again when you are actually ready to share your whole heart with a new someone if things go that far.Time WILL heal the hurt you feel over this girl, but you have to let it by not feeding the false hope that she secretly wants to get back together with you.Good luck and best wishes.
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A
male
reader, JustLooney +, writes (1 August 2013):
JustLooney is verified as being by the original poster of the question Yes i just needed help right away, so i quickly made this account to ask a question.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 August 2013):
 Whatever your age is, you are still just beating a dead horse. Unless you don't mind wasting your time my advice would be to try to avoid her as much as you can, keep busy, date other girls, study hard and get on with your life.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (1 August 2013):
 Well then, you are a pair of slow learners aren't you, if you are a junior and she a sophomore and you are aged between 36 and 40 as indicated in your profile .....
However, lets assume your age has been entered incorrectly, and that this is a genuine question, from a genuine junior in college, about a genuine sophomore in college .... which would make you both around what ... 20 years old?
It would seem this young lady is just not interested in you, and as you have stated, quite categorically, that you are not interested in meeting other girls, etc etc the only option for you is to accept that she is going to continue to ignore you, you will continue to harass her with love letters etc, you will become more frustrated with the lack of response and start to stalk her and she will get sick of your sad and sorry existence and call the cops on you.
The ball is in your court, accept she isn't interested and continue on the path you are on, or not.
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