A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:well i'm new at this so i dont really know what to do ha... i guess i will just type what is going on right now....me and my old boyfriend.. brian.. dated for a year and 9 months.. he was my first boyfriend ever.. first kiss.. first everything.. i was really .. REALLY inlove.. we broke up because of stupid things.. and after almost 4 years.. i still have so many feelings for him.. and i think he has some for me but he just won't admit it.. he is a complete jerk.. and he plays any girl he meets and "likes" but he knows how to work them.. i've always stood up for him for God knows why.. (probably becuase i was inlove with him for some reason ha..) we have been off and on (sexually) for those four years.. we haven't had sex.. but we have done many things.. a week ago.. we did everything but sex.. he's the only guy i would do these things with.. i have NO idea why.. everytime i try to have a relationship with someone else.. i compare them to him..... and it just never can compare.. i loved him so much then.. but i dont want to anymore.. i just want to move on but i dont know how.. i've tried for 4 years and i just dont know how.. ineed help...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): First thing: Never compare, you can't compare anything to your first love :P Second: You do still have feelings for him and as I see it he does for you. He does the same thing as you do by "going on dates" and later "break up" but he doesn't stay with anyone. Stability, comfort, attraction, laughs, smiles: L o v e.From: The li'l helper.
A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey  +, writes (4 September 2007):
 Hello there,This is your first love and you will always remember it.Your problem is getting over it, no easy task... the one thing you have to do if you really want to let go and move on is that you have to do just that, move on, stop going back. How will you ever know if you can live without this guy if you are still in contact with him regularly and are still having a sexual relationship with him.Break away for a while, definately stop having any sexual contact with him, and go out with friends and enjoy being single, you don't have to hook up with someone else to get over your ex, but what you do have to do is break the emotional bond, not easy but can be done with a bit of will power on your part....Stay single for a while, stay strong, but most importantly if you want to move on and get over this guy, stay out of his bed!Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): Hi love,
If I were you I would stop doing anything sexual with him, try not to see him (hard I no) and start to go out and meet other people, Do your own thing love that does'nt include him at all.
At the moment while your still seeing him this way you wont be able to move on, Plus the fact that he was your first boyfriend thats always an experience you wont forget.
I no its hard you compare little things with other guys and its like well so n so didnt do that or act like this and instead of enjoying your time with this new person they never match up, so you give up and your back at square one. But as hunbun said dont let him use you, You take control and good luck LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): i think you should turn your life to another extra activities that fits you. this thing can help you very much to move on. make your life busy every single hour so you don't remember your ex boyfriend. i think you also need to go out with some friends and don't try to compare those people with your ex boyfriend so that you can really enjoy their company..
theres a lot of things you should do and think rather than making your time shorter just for your ex boyfriend.
try to make yourself comfortable with other things that you do and try not to think about your pass. focus on what your doing and the things that you want to do in the future or what you want to be.. thats life, you should keep on going even if you had a unforgettable pass.. stay pretty and also be happy.
i hope this letter can help you a lot to move on.
good luck and godbless.
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A
female
reader, hunbun +, writes (4 September 2007):
The same thing happened to me.. i dated a guy for 2 years and he broke up with me. I was a mess and a year later completely in love with him and obsessing and comparing every other guy to him. I wanted to move on but had no idea how. It got easier as time went on but only because i had forgotten what it felt like to be with him. We ended up getting back together last year so i never had to overcome the obstacle. My suggestion to you is to stop doing sexual things with your ex. Try to just cut him out of your life completely so your not so tempted to be with him. Its always easier when you see the guy less to try and forget about him and move on with your life. Plus he is totally using you for sexual things which you should not allow him to do. Have some dignity and cut him out of your life for good. Once you have moved on its safe to become friends with him again but not friends with benefits. relationship or just friends. Dont let him use you. Maybe things will work out for you and he will miss you so much that he comes crawling back to you. good luck darling
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