A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hiya, I've just got off the phone to my ex boyfriend, he dumped me to go back to his ex, anyway cut a long story short they're not together yet but spending all their spare time together as basically she doesn't trust him, he cheated on her (not with me)when their baby was small and he needs to gain her trust again.Anyway over the weekend he stayed over hers and he really wanted sex, he asked her and everything but she said no, Then he said to me that I will have to meet him somewhere to give him a blowjob as he's not done anything since we split up 5 weeks ago, I laughed and said you don't mean that and he replied saying you wanna bet. I said yes as I thought he was joking, but now I'm not so sure people don't usually bet on that sort of thing, I know how much he likes sex so he could be serious, Does it sound like he was messing around or was serious. I think he said it as he knew I would probably say yes, I still like him and would have done it if I knew he wasn't seeing her.
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blow-job, his ex, my ex, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (27 October 2008):
 It sounds like the ex is the only one being slightly sensible here by refusing sex until he has proved he can be trusted again. Which obviously he's not. So it doesn't look like he's getting any fun there anytime soon! And he knows that, which is where you come in.
Nice! (not)
What a low life. And some poor scrap has him as a daddy? Gee.
C xxxxx
A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (27 October 2008):
 Sweetie next time he calls just ignore the phone he sounds like a right user and you deserve better, he cheated on his ex left you for her and now wants to use you?
No he is a jerk and you should not have anything to do with him delete his number and ignore his calls before you do something you will end up regretting your are better then this.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (27 October 2008):
Why would you degrade yourself and meet him to be used as a cheap thrill?
You know if you do it he's going to say "right then, cheers, bye." and go back to her.
Do you really think that is all you are worth. Stop speaking to this slime ball and find a real man who knows how to treat a woman.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, all  +, writes (27 October 2008):
all i can say is that i've been on your shoes..
i hope this can help you a little
Oprah
wrote this about
men...
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better."
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior.
Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house.
Never co-sign for a man.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
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