A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I slapped the man I adore to death this weekend when I was drunk, well we were both drunk. He now doesn't want to speak or talk to me. I clearly don't want this, what should I do?A bit of back round on us.Him and I have been on and off for over two years. At first we started talking and became what I'd call sex buddies. I noticed maybe a month into it I started to like and care for him ( I knew sex buddies someone ends up caring for the other, why I'm normally against it), after we had did the dirty one night he asked if I loved him, quite thrown by this I said I cared for him. A week later him and I decide to take "X" together, he'd never done it, I had when I was a teen. He started losing it and I started taking care of him, so we laid in his friends bed for hours with me feeding him water and keeping his head cool, just talking to him to keep him calm and it hit me that I do love him, the next day him and I talked and I told him and he said he loves me too. His friends didn't like him having a GF because he was their party buddy, so once a month he'd leave for a weekend and not talk to me and party all weekend with them. About a year later we are in the hospital his friends wife threw a candle drunkenly and broke his nose, I find out he slept with another girl.. sober when he was in training in Cali getting ready to deploy. I was a complete wreck, I took care of him but I was so hurt. We talked through things. A month later he broke both his hands, I took care of him through that as well. Then he deployed to Afghanistan, I was a great girlfriend to him, but he started getting odd and he said he needed a break and I agreed thinking whatever is best for him to make it through deployment, we still talked every chance he got... a month later I find out he has been talking to someone else and he wants a serious relationship and didn't think we could have one. I fell to pieces and stopped talking to him, he wrote me a couple weeks later and I was very mean to him and he admitted he had slept with four other women during our relationship but when he came on home for two weeks on leave from Afghanistan I spent it with him and we were perfect and we talked everything out, we were doing great, til we got into a fight over something silly ( we have trust issues, he didn't trust me because the beginning of our relationship guy would always text me), he forgot I had his passwords and I checked his email once and saw he was talking to the girl he started dating during his deployment. I lost it and we broke up and didn't talk much of his deployment. He came back barely a week ago, got wasted his first night tried driving to see me, couldn't called a cab and ended up on my porch. He stayed the night and we spent the week together and the weekend up til Saturday night when I slapped him.I saw him the other day ago to get my things, we slept together, and yesterday so I could give him what arrived at my house for him. He texted me last night when he was drunk and I went over there and we slept together. I just want to see him.I feel horrible for hitting him. I do love him, we've been through so much. I honestly have no clue what to do. FYI, I dont drink often and only taken drugs the one time in over three years. I slapped him in the arm/body region four times.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2010): four times on the arm and body ,,,, heheeee sorry but u sounded too cute .. why would he be angry over it .... umm i think u need to tell him u care about him and he should do the same and stop going around with other gals and hurting u .... and why r u soo easy to get in bed with him .... ummmm .... well try it once to go meet him and not sleep .... just a bit of distance ... it does bring in people closer sumtimes ..........
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (10 September 2010):
 I fail to see how getting slapped is "blowing it out of proportion"...?
If a guy slaps a girl he can't justify it by saying "I doubt it hurt her very much".
Though having said that, it'd be nice to think that he'd at least show you the same level of forgiveness that you've shown him over the years.
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A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (10 September 2010):
None of this really sounds like it's part of a good relationship. He's cheated on you multiple times, even after you have talked about it and worked it through. Seems as though he is still in the process of continuing to do that. You're there to support him and take care of him when he's hurt, and he keeps going behind your back. If I were you, I would let it go. Forgiving a cheater once is one thing, but when you stay and it doesn't stop, there's a point when that becomes blind hope.
As for the slapping, I don't know how hard it was, or why you did it, but you're sorry about it and apologized. There's not really much more you can do about it. Somehow I don't think it would hurt him that much. If anything, it sounds as though this is the first big thing you've done wrong, compared to him, and he is blowing it out of proportion.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): Neither of you appear to be ready for a serious relationship and with your illegal drug use and alcohol abuse I would recommend getting some help before dating anyone else.
Giving him illegal drugs, since he is in the military, is really not wise, he could get a dishonorable discharge, or an article 15 and get busted in rank and pay. Not smart and not very loving in my opinion.
Sound like you guys are still just sex buddies.
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