A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my ex boyfriend for a number of years, actually this thursday would be/would have been 3 years since we've been together. He has been VERY abusive emotionally and at times physically towards me in at least 2 out of those 3 years, he has cheated and still is and we havent gone out together in about 2 months...he has even gotten a 1 year old son since then and every now and then he calls or texts saying that he misses me and wants me back yet he is currently dating one of my college friends and still is denying that. I am in agony and I think Im going insane. I cant describe the feeling I have inside but I dont know where to turn to and what to do, nothing seems to help and I cant speak to friends or family about it because they have all said that they are disgusted with him and will not listen to a single word about him. What do i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2010): There is no excuse for physical or emotional abuse. I have seen relationships where this is the norm as it is in yours, and I must tell you it is not normal. It is not right.
There is no justification in the world for you to be with this man. He clearly does not respect you or probably even love you properly. Not that love can be measured, but more that there are incorrect ways of expressing it.
Why on earth should you have to settle for him? You have no attachment, and even if you did, that is not the right environment to be living in much less raising a family.
There is much more and much better out there. You do not deserve to be treated that way.
He does not own you, he did not buy you (and trafficking is illegal). Walk away before you get seriously hurt. Your emotions are a big part of you and no one has the right to make you less of a person you are.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionActually here is some more detail on the situation, I am 27 years old and have been with my ex boyfriend& I have been together for almost 3 years. As in the case of all relationships ours was a whirlwind experience where we were loving&all the toppings in the beginning. However he was NEVER faithful to me from the inception. approximately 3 mths into the relationship i found out about 4 other girls in 1 night & it spiralled from there...I got all the im sorry's I love you's&the usual lines to reconcile. About 9 mths after the physical abuse started coupled with insults not only against me,but my family and friends, I have been cut off from my friends and family & I am not allowed to go anywhere without him& he basically wants me home all the time. Everytime I walk away he comes back with a story & I get sucked into him again. I am a career oriented person with a great job, he however has no job, is 26 years old, dropped out of high school & always demands of me,its been about 1 1/2 years now since ive stopped supporting him however I am forced to spend money whenever we are out & the sums are a ridiculous sum. I have been beaten for 'sleeping around' when I havent, ive been beaten so he can go out with his other women, he has conceived a kid with another girl who will be 20 this year & the child will is now 1 year old. At first he told me that the baby was not his however over the past few months pictures have surfaced of 'the happy family' & he has even told me now that he loves the mother & rumours are circulating that they are married which he denies. She lives in another country, but just spent 6 months with the chikd here & the cheating still continues. I had decided again to leave him after watching him cohabit again with another girl,my college friend& now that he has said he has another girl in his life, ive stopped calling & texting. NOW at intervals he has been calling despite the fact that this other chic is spending the nights with him& leaving early in the morning before anyone can see, parks her car infront his house & is upset with me for not taking his calls. the last time i saw him abt 2 mths ago he dealt me a severe beating alleging that i was sleeping around again & I havent. My friends all think that this is just another act on his part & that he will still continue to call & try to reconcile,despite the fact that he texted me on numerous occasions saying he was in love & is happy with his new found love. YET STILL CALLS AGAIN as if he never uttered those words to me, Why is he texting me & calling me to tell me these things when he is clearly showing he has no regard for me or has no place for me in his life? what will be his next move?& how do I get over this&him? I need to get him completely out of my life. He has told me many times before if he cant have me, no one else can.
Yet still I have these days that I miss him & cant get over him or out of this ! I am in real agony here & dont know what to do, please people help me ! ADVIse on how i can get out of this
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