A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have just split up with girlfriend and she is having our baby in approximately 6 months time.Please may I ask for anyone's kind advice in regards to if iI am definately entitled to be at the birth of my baby?I would very much apppreciate any advice At your earliest convenience.Many thanks!!Kind regards,Jimmy
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female
reader, natasia +, writes (22 February 2012):
 I am not sure you are 'entitled' to witness the birth. The birth is a moment when the mother needs to feel totally safe and supported, and if you are a stressful figure for her, you actually shouldn't be there.
It will be a case of waiting to see how your relationship is around the time of the birth.
It is very very difficult for a pregnant mother to have the baby's father leave her during pregnancy. You can imagine the combination of emotions she might have.
You will, though, be entitled to see the baby after it is born, and play a part in its life. But as for witnessing the birth - if I were the mother, I'm afraid to say I would consider it my call, and you would only be there if you were someone I felt I could trust.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2012): You don't have the right to be present at the birth. Your ex has the right to her privacy and patient confidentiality. Are you guys on good terms? If so she might let you come in and see the baby soon after the birth.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (19 February 2012):
 I've read most of the answers here and only one can be described as harsh (the one calling the OP selfish, though I can see her point). The others simply say the OP doesn't have the right to watch his child being born.
Really no one has an inherent right to be at the birth. Not even a doctor, since a woman may choose to deliver at home with a midwife instead.
The only people who should be in attendance are those who can offer aid and comfort to mother and child, and have the mother's consent.
No one has the right to just be there and watch.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (19 February 2012):
 Sorry anon if you find me harsh. But if he's already having problems getting into the birthing room then he's got to know his rights.. I didn't want the guy to come back here a hundred times to ask about his rights to be on the birth certificate, rights to access and right liability to custody payments. I just told him all at once, thought that was more useful and kinder than just answering NO... and I provided a link for assistance and government guidance on laws.
Your advice is helpful is a helpful NO, but it doesn't tell him what to do next.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2012): Legally no you are not entitled to be present at the actual birth but you can apply for paternal rights to see your child; you will of course be liable for paying towards the financial cost of your son or daughter's upbringing. I am not sure how soon, legally, you would be entitled to see the baby after the birth but perhaps you could come to reasonable agreement/arrangement with your ex partner to see the baby for a little while after the birth? Do bear in mind that your ex partner will be very tired after the birth and probably need some privacy and space so I would advise that you try and be sensitive to this & don't push/rush her - maybe a few hours later after the birth would be ok? Just a few thoughts. Hope all goes well :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2012): There are some very harsh answers here- I dont think he asked anything about rights, custody or DNA results. Quite simply he wants to know if he has the right to be at the birth and a lot of you have been very harsh.
OP- only your ex can decide if you are in the labour room or not, if she doesn't want you there then I am afraid its a no. Best of luck
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 February 2012):
 No, you are not entitled to be in the delivery room and present at the moment of childbirth, that's always the mother's choice. And no obstetrician worth his salt would let you in against the mother's wishes.
Some women want their partner there, and their mother , and a cast of thousands, some just want to be alone with the professionals . It's the mother's choice, and it should always be respected, because after all she is the one who is going through a VERY tough time and she must be enabled to face it the way SHE feels more comfortable with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2012): No I don't think you're entitled since you're not the one who carried the child for 9 months and is going into labor. Don't be selfish, have some respect for the child's mother's wishes.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (19 February 2012):
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/ParentsRights/DG_4002954
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (19 February 2012):
 No actually, which is a shame...But, you are allowed in the hospital. I'd talk to your ex if I were you. Tell her that no matter what happened between you two, you guys have created a baby and will always be bounded through that child. If you two are still friends, tell her you would like to be there to support her as her friend and the father of her child. If not, give her some time to coll off, recover from the break-up a little and then ask. Even if you can't be in the delivery room, you can still be at the hospital to sign the birth certificate and of course, to see your baby.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2012): okay tough situation. you need to talk with her first.. you have split up with her so i wonder what you are thinking of and what good would it do to ask her.
Please do throw some light on your situation .. if you can
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A
female
reader, VSAddict  +, writes (19 February 2012):
 I do think you're entitled to be there for the birth of your child. Whether you're together or not, you still should have the right to be in the room when it happens. My brother was in the room when his son was born and he was her ex also.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (19 February 2012):
No your not entitled to be at the birth. She will be in surgery, some of her will be naked, it might be your baby, but your not entitled to see her at her most vulnerable. She will be in pain, and will only want friends and loved ones around. She can also ask the doctors to ban you from seeing her (or from the hospital if you become a nuisance) and the baby completely, if she thinks that it will upset her and make her delivery and recovery uncomfortable. Heck she doesn't even need a reason, she just has to say that you aren't welcome there. You are not married and therefore have no rights over her or the baby. The baby is not born, and therefore you cannot prove you are the father, and therefore have no rights at all.It is in your best interests to stop thinking about rights and what you want to demand. Do this and she can make life very difficult. She can refuse you any access to the baby. She can fight you on a DNA test. Then you have no way to prove that it's your baby and this is something you do not want.Try as hard as you can to be nice to her right now. Request things "kindly", do not demand. When the baby is born, you can go to a lawyer and try to get a DNA test to prove parentage. Then you can go and try to see about getting the courts to grant you access. You have no right to be on the baby's birth certificate. Because as they say "mummy's baby, daddy's maybe".Back off, send letter of apology, for what I do not know, but apologise for anything and everything and say you just want to be a proper father. Try to make sure she doesn't get upset and angry so you can at least build up some kind of relationship with the child and it's mother. Or back off and wait and then get legal.Your still liable for child support and if she goes to claim this then she'll be announcing that you are the father, and you can go to the courts for access. Custody on your own very rarely happens, especially with new babies, unless you can prove that in some ways she's unfit and the baby will suffer.Your "definitely entitled" to nothing right now. Contact Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB) for confirmation on what I'm saying and they will tell you give you more information about access, rights, financial liabilities and duties.
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A
female
reader, followmeheadorheart +, writes (19 February 2012):
My sons father and I were no longer together at his birth but I wanted my ex there. It was his childs birth and I wanted to share that experience with him. Every women is different though. and one important question is Do you want to be there? If you do asked her if you can. I wanted my ex (even though I hated him at the time) to be the first person to see our son, to cut the cord to be there for me.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (19 February 2012):
Since the birth of your baby is also a medical procedure for your ex, I don't think you're entitled to attend. And honestly, women are much better off having women attend them at such a time.
That isn't what you wanted to hear, I'm guessing, but you will have plenty of opportunities to see your child afterward.
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