A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a special needs child, so I see a lot of specialists. Over the years I have learned a great deal about my daughters health. I have met a Dr that has caught my attention. My daughter has seen him for a couple years now. I don't date; men seem to only complicate my life, and right now my life is all about my children. My daughter has a home health nurse on days I'm not with her, and sometimes they take her to her appointments for me. Sometimes the nurse will accompany me when I have my grandchildren with me to help get us all in and out. Several different nurses have noticed and think there is a spark between the dr and I. I blew them off for awhile. Took it as teasing. He always spends a lot of time with my daughter when I am at the appointment. Sometimes coming in and out of the room 3 times or more. Each time spending about 20 mins or longer. However, he doesn't do this when one of the nurses takes her on their own. What has caught my attention is, he has heart. He isn't like other Drs. We email each other and sometimes he says things like, I will be thinking about you. This is when I happen to mention at her appointment that I have class or a test coming up. The day of my test I recieved the email. This has happened several times. My daughters nurses have dropped the hint by him, by telling the dr what my daughter is signing, "my mommy has her eyes on you" which embarrassed me to death. In reality, I have my eye on everyone connected to my daughters care. Nothing has ever went beyond professional politeness. I would say, I have taken notice of this man for about a year and a half. Our last visit, I felt him check me out. I saw him check me out. The nurse seen him check me out and she teased me for sometime. Telling me, to ask him for a coffee date. I have never asked a man out. I push men away right now, or at least I have been. Does he wear the special shoes of the man I have waited for? Can you date your child's specialist?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWiseOwlEI never once implied this Dr was lewd in anyway. Very reserved and professional. I also realize he could be watching over me as well. This is what I have said to the home health nurses. Yes, mothers do put themselves on the back burner, have bouts of depression, and most certainly neglect themselves. I too have experienced this. You were also right when you stated "noticing is human" My bad for using "checking me out"; however, is was defiantly art appreciation. I too am human and I've been told I am a beautiful woman; that does not always feel beautiful when you go nights on end with no sleep and old vomit in your hair. It was only a thought. Maybe I was thinking a man with a career is confident enough in himself that I too could pursue my own career and the man would not feel intimidated. Like I see it,I have thought about all those things also. He is not the only specialist in the area, but he is the only one with the heart that makes him a Great Dr. Thank you both for your response. At the end of the day the Dr puts a smile on my face and that is nice. :-)
A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (18 May 2015):
 Do you know for a fact that he's single?
You aren't his patient - your daughter is - but if you do ask him on a date, realize that whether he says yes OR no, the professional thing to do afterwards would be to find a new specialist to provide the care that your daughter will continue to need. He shouldn't be your daughter's doctor if you end up dating him, and if he declines the date, keeping your daughter as a patient would be awkward for both of you because you'll still have to see each other often.
If he is the only such specialist in your local area, be very cautious about jeopardizing his ability to provide care to your daughter while remaining professional in his duties.
Otherwise, I don't see why you can't ask him out for coffee.
Good luck and best wishes!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2015): It is considered quite unethical for health-professionals to date their patients or clients. You are an active client; which is why he probably doesn't make inappropriate advances. It could compromise his professional license and insurance.
Checking you out? That is a subjective comment, and that's how rumors compromise a doctor's professional practice. Just looking at you, or noticing you is human; doesn't necessarily have to be "checking you out." Doctors are trained to check you out. Specialists in his field don't only evaluate and treat the patient, and they monitor the patient's custodial caretakers to see how they're holding up under pressure. Having a special needs child takes a toll on the care-taking parent(s). He evaluates you to see that you yourself are in good-health and to be sure you're okay. You're a single-mother, and they tend to run themselves into the ground. Some have bouts of depression and neglect themselves. Your health and well-being directly effects how you care for your daughter.
He will evaluate you for stress and notices the emotional effects it all has on you. Like you have an "eye" on everyone taking care of your daughter; they have an a "eye" on you, to be sure you're doing okay as well. As far as having any romantic interest in you? That's a big maybe.
If you have to wonder, he has obviously maintained his professionalism; which is commendable. As for the nurses and their teasing, that is very unprofessional on their part.
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