A
male
age
30-35,
*teel stake
writes:Thank you for those who have read my post I greatly appreciate you all and your feedback as well. So, I'm 21, graduating from college in a year and consider myself an understanding person from different perspectives but, unfortunately, I messed up. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months and everything is going great, the "honeymoon" stage and all. About 3 days ago my girlfriend's cousin had a serious surgery and is on life support right now. I never blow up or have anger problems but she and I got into a fight a couple of days pretty bad, about what I'm not sure. I felt she was being hostile towards me. The fight was bad but we got over it, I thought. She has been weird lately and understandably so. She's been very sad and I've tried my best to comfort her but I'm extremely bad at comforting people. I tend to hide my emotions. Anyway, I felt like I messed up really bad about the fight. I said some things that were not great and I am so ashamed of myself because I know better. She's been distant lately and getting mad at me for any little thing, which I think is her personal life and her cousin and all. I understand, family first, of course. I just don't know what to do... I feel like I'm starting to lose her and I see her favoriting another guy's tweets a lot I might just be insecure but I know she messages a lot of guys, friends apparently. I haven't distrusted her and I let her do this. She says she wants my kids and wants to marry me but I'm only 21 and she's only 20. What should I do? I'm kind of trying out how to be there for her the right way but also bracing for the worst. She does get bored of guys rather quickly. What should I do? Am I terrible person for bringing all this up while her family is in peril? I Am going crazy and need some advice. Thank you all so much.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2015): She's stressed-out. If you're not good at comforting people; then just ask her if there is anything you can do to help now and then. Don't get in the way with your clumsy attempts to comfort her. Being quiet helps a lot. Offer to run errands for her, and say you hope things are getting better. That's all.
Offer her hugs, and if she refuses; leave her alone until she comes to you. She has a lot on her mind and she doesn't really know how to deal with it all. Sometimes it gets on your nerves when people are trying to help and they're awkward at it. Then it becomes annoying, although you know they mean well. If she's just being a "princess," back-off.
Just give her a smile, be affectionate, and don't ask questions. If she's moody, give her space and let her come to you. If she mopes around with a bad-attitude, and seems touchy or irritable; it could be that time of the month on top of everything else. Walk a wide-girth, and just go about your life; until she gets her ass off her shoulders.
It's good to practice allowing people privacy and space to deal with their emotions during a crisis. You are not expected to fix everything. It's best to ask if there is anything she'd like you to do; then she can let you know specifically if there is. If she picks a fight, simply call a truce and just say you know she's dealing with some stuff right now; so you'll just leave her be. Then leave her be.
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