A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I met my boyfriend on 27 Oct 2007. He was very loving and proposed to me 2 weeks later. I agreed but then stalled and asked for more time, suggesting we get engaged in a few months. We spent 10 days together at Christmas but I felt it was too much too soon. I played devil's advocate, saying we could never live together because of our different ways, not realising that would hurt him so much, but I apologised and made big efforts to adapt to his lifestyle.2 months on, he's left me saying 'I killed it for him' when I said that. Is love at first sight real? If he really loved me, would he be prepared to forgive me and work at the relationship?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2008): Hi, I am in your age group, and if a man I just met asked me to marry him after only 2 weeks, I would think this is a big red flag that he is either a con artist (he wants something other than what he pretends from you) or he is classically immature.
Love at first sight does exist, but this is merely lust and infatuation and you are on naturally produced drugs and are not in the frame of mind to make a good judgement.
What does love or lust have to do with having a successful marriage? You were right to back off and speak about his ways being so different from yours, you probably are telling the truth or you would not say you need to adapt to his lifestyle....His not wanting to work things out with you and get to know you better to see if you have some common ground is just that red flag waving in the wind trying to get your attention.
I don't think you need to beg for anything from this guy except for him to never call you again. Just my opinion.
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (26 January 2008):
 Hi
This struck me as a bit too much too soon. Why is he is intent on getting hitched so quick?
Not too sure if i beleve in love at first sight personally, but who knows. I agree that if he really loved you, something like that wouldnt send him packing. But i guess if he is definately looking to settle down, then you saying you cant see you 2 ever living together would have him questioning going on any further.
Still seems a bit soon for either of you to know if you could live together yet though. What happened to courting for a while?
C xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2008): Well I think you have been wise...maybe there is love at first sight but at our age it is sensible to take things easy. After all you only met the guy in October and you don't really know anything about him. Are you sure that his intentions were honourable? If he really was in love with you then surely he would understand that you didn't want to rush into anything and would be prepared to wait for you. Maybe you were a bit hurtful with what you said about living together, but you were being honest and why should you make big efforts to adapt to his lifestyle? I smell a bit of a rat here and I think you've had a lucky escape....remember the saying 'only fools rush in'. Best of luck and don't feel guilty.
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